Re: To clarify my wooooo and cruising along
- From: "marcusboy54" <partyboz@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 10 Dec 2006 04:58:04 -0800
NO PROBLEM MY FRIEND I understand and my prays will be with you and
inhope that one day you will feel a woo for your pain level god bless
marcus from daytona
Marcus, Joe, and all:
I did not mean to sound overly judgmental of Marcus. I am glad Marcus'
pain is being reduced to an acceptable level. I don't want anybody to
be in pain at all. Pain is our enemy. I wish all of us could be able to
have a moment where the pain gets bitch-slapped a good one. If I had my
pain under better control I would be thrilled to be able to post a
similar kind of post.
Also, I don't want anyone to think that I have some kind of issues with
feeling good, or high even. I do not. I think feeling good or high even
is a natural part of the feelings we can have and can experience.
Falling in love can feel really good, really intense, and high. I don't
find experiencing those feelings "sinful" or wrong. I think NOT feeling
those feelings when feeling them is a normal response is a bad thing.
There a few situations that I had in mind when I posted what I posted
as a response to Marcus' wooooo post. They aren't directly and
specifically tied to him or his post, they are just tangential thoughts
brought into my mind by reading his post. Primarily, it is driven by
personal experiences of pain, pain treatment, and having hard times
getting acute, emergency level pain treated in the ER. Some doctors are
really hung up on pain treatment. I have been "treated" (or not more
like it) by such doctors and it has bothered me greatly. I have a very
well documented history of gallstone pancreatitis that resulted in
major damaged to the pancreas and its system of biliary ducts. This
caused the development of Sphincter of Oddi dysfunction which causes
the duct servicing the pancreas with its release of enzymes to lock up
and prevent the flow of digestive enzymes. This causes the pancreas to
autodigest itself which can be terminal. It is hard to diagnose, harder
(near impossible) to treat and leads to the development of life long
chronic pain as the damage is done and is for most cases untreatable.
In order to prevent death I underwent a rare and essentially
experimental surgery where my entire pancreas was removed, the spleen
was removed, the pylorus of the stomach removed, and a gastric by-pass
done to reconnect the upper GI with the stomach again. The insulin
creating cells of the pancreas were removed from my pancreas and
introduced to my liver to be their new home. In order to digest food I
have to take pancreatic enzymes in capsules by mouth. Additionally, I
am surgically diabetic, majorly so. I give myself between 3 and 7 shots
of insulin daily. I have big time pain issues as well as all the
endocrine and exocrine issues.
Very few hospitals host surgeons that can do this surgery. So very very
few doctors have any understanding of the issues of undergoing the
surgery, and they are often very poor at treating things. I have had
many doctors tell me that you can't live without a pancreas and that I
am trying to lie to them because I would be dead without a pancreas.
Sadly most of those docs refuse a GI scan so I can prove to them its
Anyhow back on focus...sorry for the slide off topic there.
I have had doctors who think I am lying about not having a pancreas,
and they believe it is an elaborate lie set up so I can get pain meds.
I have also had some wonderful doctors that would let me tell them the
web address of the doctors that do the surgery so they can look up some
details on the procedure. Those good doctors are willing to treat my
pain. The poor ones usually do not treat it at all and I then have to
fight for my rights, at a time when I am really sick and hurting.
So, I think I get jaded sometimes when pain patients make a joke or
giggle after getting a dose of pain meds, or what have you because it
all gets mixed up with a couple of bad experiences with closed minded,
lazy doctors who refuse to make a phone call or look something up
online, or what have you.
I suppose I get jealous when someone lets out a giggle after having
their pain treated .
But it isn't personal nor a judgment on anyone. It is just the scars
from going through the crap I have gone through. Marcusboy, I am happy
that you did get your pain treated. I know you have gone through lots
and lots of hell. So I think you will understand where I am coming
May you all have less pain today!
The last 3 weeks have been a nightmare between getting baker acted 2
times and having a TIA AND in hospital for 3 more days ,I finally
received my miracle of getting on the fent patches and my life seemed
to changed each hour as the meds went into my system and made me feel
almost pain free when i said cruising along i meant I was on a natural
high just to be alive and with a positive mood the fent patches gives
me no buzz at all but iam still on a natural high cause for once in the
last 4 months my pain is tolerable and i think in 3 weeks I came along
way from being a chamber away of meeting my maker to a will that will
not stop till the day mr pain getS control of my life again and every
morning I wake up with a pain level below an 8 I pray to god he did not
take my life the day I tried to end it prematurely sorry for the one
negative post I got thinking I was boasting about being high and if
being high on life is boasting than I will be boasting the rest of my
life while I can.
god bless all my friends
And to those who doubt me my prays will be with you as long as Iam