Re: HELLO I AM NEW HERE... STEPHANIE & SUE

ddbo wrote:
THE REASON WHY I DO NOT TURN IT ON IS BECAUSE THE BATTERY WILL BE GOING
DEAD SOON.. SEE, I DO NOT WANT ANYMORE SURGERIES AT ALL.. WHAT WAS
SUPPOSE TO BE ONE SURGERY TURNED INTO MANY IN LESS THAN A YEAR..

MY SECOND ONE WAS 5 DAYS AFTER THE FIRST ONE BECAUSE I COULDN'T FEEL
ANYTHING FROM THE WAIST DOWN.. IT WAS JUST TERRIBLE...

THE THOUGHT OF BEING CUT OPEN AGAIN REALLY SCARES ME TO DEATH.. WHAT IF
I AGREE TO HAVE ANOTHER SURGERY AND THIS TIME I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO
WALK AGAIN.. YOU KNOW BEFORE I HAD MY FIRST SURGERY, THAT HAD NEVER
ENTERED MY MIND.. ME NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK.. ME BEING IN MORE PAIN
SINCE THE SURGERY... NOT BEING ABLE TO FEEL MY TOES...

WHEN I HAD MY SURGERY, I SPENT A YEAR IN A WHEEL CHAIR... I WOULDN'T
WISH THAT ON MY WORST ENEMY...

SEE, NOW I AM ALONE RAISING TWO GRANDCHILDREN THAT CALL ME MOMMY... THE
LITTLE GIRL IS 6 YEARS OLD.. I HAVE HAD HER SINCE SHE WAS A DAY OLD..
THE LITTLE BOY IS 4 YEARS OLD AND I HAVE HAD HIM SINCE HE WAS ONE YEARS
OLD..

THE REASON WHY I AM ALONE NOW IS BECUASE 10 MONTHS AGO MY HUSBAND DIED
IN MY ARMS DUE SO 20 YEARS OF DIABETES.. HIS KIDNEYS SHUT DOWN, THEN
HIS LIVER, THEN HIS HEART..

NOW I HAVE NO ONE TO HELP ME LIKE HE DID...

SUE,

I HAVE TALKED TO MY DOCTOR AND TOLD HER HOW MUCH PAIN I AM IN.. I TOLD
HER HOW THE PAIN TAKES MY BREATH AWAY IT IS SO BAD.. I HAVE ASKED HER
NOT ONCE BUT MANY TIMES TO INCREASE MY PAIN MEDS OR TO GIVE ME
SOMETHING ELSE A LITTLE STRONGER.. SO WHAT SHE DID WAS SENT ME TO A
PAIN MANAGEMENT DOCTOR.. THIS PAIN MANAGEMENT DOCTOR WANTED ME TO STOP
ALL OF MY PAIN MEDS WITH OUT EVEN HAVING MY MEDICAL RECORDS.. THAT WAS
THE LAST TIME I SAW THAT IDIOT.. I SWEAR I THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN SMOKING
CRACK TO TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT.. MY GOD, THIS GUY HAD NO HEART..
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HELL I WAS CRYING IN PAIN WHEN I SAW HIM AND
WITH A WALKING CANE...

AS FAR AS A JOURNAL, I CAN DO THAT BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I REALLY
DON'T THINK MY DOCTOR WOULD READ IT.. I AM LUCKY TO GET 5 MINUTES WITH
HER WHEN I DO SEE HER.. ABOUT 4 OR 5 MONTHS AGO, THE DOCTOR SAID,
ANDREA YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME IN TO SEE ME FOR YOUR REFILLS, JUST CALL
THE OFFICE AND I WILL WRITE THEM UP FOR YOU AND YOU CAN COME PICK UP
THE SCRIP AT THE FRONT DESK..

I STARTED SEEING THIS DOCTOR A YEAR AGO NOT LONG AFTER I MOVED FROM LAS
VEGAS.. THE FIRST TIME I SAW HER, SHE TRIED TO SEND ME HOME WITH NO
PAIN MEDS.. HELL, I HAD TO YELL AT THEM TO GET SOMETHING.. I WAS IN
SEVERE PAIN.. AND PART OF MY PAIN WAS DUE TO THE COLD.. I HAD JUST CAME
FROM 105 TEMPS IN LAS VEGAS TO THE LOW 40'S.. MY BACK WAS SPASSING AND
AT TIMES I COULD NOT WALK THE PAIN WAS SO BAD.. AND IN THE MEAN TIME MY
HUSBAND WAS DIEING AND NEEDED ROUND THE CLOCK CARE AND I WAS THE ONE
THAT WAS TAKING CARE OF HIM AND TWO CHILDREN... AND I HAD TOLD HER ALL
THIS AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY, I CAN NOT GIVE YOU ANYTHING UNTILL
YOUR RECORDS COME.. I SAID BULL CRAP, WHERE IS YOUR BOSS. NEEDLESS TO
SAY, I GOT WHAT I NEEDED FOR THIS PAIN BUT NOW IT HAS GOT WORSE.. AND
OF COURSE, SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ME...

HUGS, ANDREA

Hi again Andrea
Ok, but how do you know the battery is going to give out soon?, I was given an estimated battery life of 5-10 years, and if I`m reading your post correctly you haven`t had the implant that long. In any case using the unit until the battery goes flat makes sense if it helps you as the unit will simply become inert at that point. My experience with my stimulator has been a mixed bag, I got a golden staph infection 3 days after surgery and then had 4 months of very high doseages of antibiotics (12 tablets per day). This resulted in damage to my teeth, and so far I`ve had 3 extracted since the operation 6 months ago and two more to be pulled plus about 6 fillings to be done. Thankfully dental work is free where Iam if you are on a low income, and first class it is too. I have quite a lot of nerve pain where the implant is and given the side effects I don`t think I would bother with having the surgery done if I had the choice over again. But as the old saying goes hindsight is 20-20 vision. I don`t know what the criteria is in America, but here it`s quite difficult to be a candidate for stimulator implantation, you aren`t offered the procedure until you have tried every other avenue, and you must attend 5 or 6 sessions with a psychiatrist, well at least that`s the experience I have had and the several people I know who have had the procedure. from your post your spirits seem very low, which is very understandable given the misfortune you have experienced. I find that if I`m feeling low the pain seems so much worse,it`s very hard to be otherwise, and don`t you just hate it when people tell you to keep your chin up!. Before I had surgery I was on quite high amounts of Morphine, but I got used to the doseage quite quickly and found that i was increasing the amount I was taking in a short amount of time. What made me stop taking it was a combination of a fear of becoming dependent on it, and I could no longer drive a car with a clear conscience for if I had an accident and injured someone else or worse I couldn`t live with myself. Just like you I have people dependent on me,so when someone says "how do you put up with the pain?" I reply "what, do I have a choice?"
Well I wish I had a sure fire cure for you, all I can say is try to keep your spirits up and keep going for the children`s sake, that`s all I can do.
Warmest Regards
.

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