Re: How do you cope with Anxiety?




"Kelly" <kelly.e1@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:oFKHm.7014$3P2.1359@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I am not the best to answer this today as I have had a major anxiety attack
this morning over all this stupid seperation stuff but I guess since I have
it sort of under control again...well here is my routine.

First I start with breathing exercises - upping them when I feel anxious
or know that things are happening that I am losing a little sleep over. I
am at about 8 - 10 times a day right now on those. Just deep breathing,
expanding the abs and chest and exhaling making sure everything is out and
usually if I am at home making a humming or shwooshing noise while
exhaling.

I also make lists at this time. Worst case scenario, best case scenario.
Make sure history is all there and look at the things that are improving.
The kind of "surgery tomorrow" anxiety would be to make lists of what I
have taken care of and how well prepared I am. For example - I leave in
14 days to go to Hawaii. Scooter - check, airport - phone to arrange
wheelchair, get small wheeled bag and check in large one. Meds in
sufficcient demand - check. Prescription for tamiflu - getting on
Wednesday. Etc. This now takes some of the worry out of that. What is
the worst that can happen? How am I going to handle that. The best case
scenario - I will do everything I want. The worst case - I get sick and
spend the week in the hotel room - well at least it won't be in the
apartment here. It will be in hot hawaii not cold damp BC at the moment.

Relaxation exercises - I do these all the time twice a day. When I had
the cat and dog they were not allowed in the bedroom when I did them. My
favorite one is to lie and relax each joint first. Tighten (not to the
point of pain) and then relax, over and over until I feel that I am
sinking into the bed. Then I take myself into my favorite spot. Right
now I walk along the river, watching the ducks and swans. I take a deep
breath and smell the fresh air and grasses. If I close my eyes I can hear
the wind in the grasses beside the riverside. I sit on a bench and watch
the boats go in and out of the inlet, silently drifing by. The ripples in
the water as they go by. On and on.

Sometimes it is my favorite garden area I imagine. I make a scene in my
head, smells, sights, what I hear and always the heat of the sun on my
face.

Gentle exercise breaks also help my anxiety. A gentle stretch of all my
joints to the point before pain helps to make me feel under control.On a
day like today distraction works best. Pat and I had a huge fight on the
phone and I must admit I was having trouble breathing after and the
apartment closed in. It was scary and part of that was the "what will I
do with this damn disability and how will I live on whatever I am going to
live on and what the hell happened to make me put up with the past few
years of marriage."

So for distraction I got out. Just left in my car not really knowing
where I was going except to go out and buy toilet paper. I purposely
smiled and said hi to everyone. Talked to everyone, got a newspaper and
then went for fish and chips - yes a forbidden food but it felt better. I
am still feeling anxious about everything but feel I can cope now.

I think you said what I do in a sentence. For me it is practice.
Practice and routine every day. It is what gets me through most things -
practicing the breathing, practicing the distraction techniques and making
those lists. By the way the lists are filed after. Once written down and
the worst brought out I write out possible solutions then file the paper.
Sometimes when I need to I bring out the file and realize I mastered that
situation or the test wasn't as bad as I thought. Sometimes the solution
is to research ideas such as the results of tests - sometimes that is more
than I can do as it seems to scary. The important thing for me is to be
prepared but not go off on a tangent (as I am easily taken that way if you
read things further. ie: heart test - could mean blockage, could mean
heart attack, maybe surgery, what would I do if I needed surgery, how
would I cope, what kind of surgery. All that tangent for a heart test
that maybe was just investigational or routine. Easily done with
information.)

Hope this helps Diane. Prayer isn't a big thing for me but thoughts are.
I guess those thoughts are maybe healing prayers but usually they are just
warm thoughts. I like to think they work the same way.

Kelly


What a fantastic list!! Could practically be a book you could market.

Kelly - if you ever need a no cost take on the separation stuff from someone
in the field - email me at adstavisatgmaildotcom (you know how to unmunge)
and maybe I can help.

Adelle


.



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