Re: A Pity Party - want to come?long

Kelly,

I'm so sorry your feeling low. Been there - done that, recently. Life
just seems to throw more curves to some of us. One thing gets better,
then another comes to take its place.

Anyway, don't feel bad about whining. This is the right place to do
it. you are going through a lot right now. I have a friend who was
getting some kind of pain shots for her hip. A specialist was giving
them to her and she gave my friend too much meds and it paralyzed her
from the waist down. Now she is in her 80's and has an adult
handicapped son. Like she needed more on her. Anyway, it took her
several months but she is pretty much back to where she was. She went
from bed, to a walker, to a cane and now she doesn't have to use
anything. I hope this will be the route that you will take. I know
you are looking to go to the neurologists. It sounds like they may be
able to help with the suggestions Dr. Doc had.

Come and whine anytime you need to. Sometimes it is amazing how much
better we feel just getting it out of our system.

debbie m.


Kelly wrote:
> Well I am having a pity party if you want to come. Cheese is welcome but
> sorry due to the demerol no wine. If you have a funny joke bring it and if
> you have kleenex come on too.
>
> I have decided that too many things are happening around me and I just don't
> seem to have control over a lot of them. I have a neurologist appointment
> on Friday and a rd appointment on Wednesday but until then I struggle.
> Yesterday the cathetor came out ( blue right across the bathroom floor when
> I was trying to move the bowels - oops) and discovered that I really need
> it. By the time home care nurse got here to replace it I was in agony and
> full, full, full. Obviously the neurological problems caused by the enbrel
> are still affecting the ability to urinate. Friends built me a ramp outside
> so now I can get out if someone pushes me. Wouldn't be able to go on my
> own - couldn't maneuver the wheelchair, car etc. But it is a huge step.
> Hopefully the neuro guy will have some solutions and it won't be needed for
> long. In the meantime the cathetor is not at all comfortable and the nurse
> thinks I just can't feel the spasms that my urethra and bladder are doing -
> that perhaps they are trying to expell this damn thing. That theory works
> for me. She is coming back this afternoon.
>
> I am cold all the time on my legs and still getting the electric prickly
> feeling all the time. It damn well hurts - although I have cut my pain meds
> in 1/3rds as I was not taking in what people were saying and can control the
> pain not bad during the day. That is an improvement. I have been doing
> excercises religiously and there is an improved range of motion and an
> improved communication between my leg, foot and brain. Success although
> very small.
>
> My husband got back last night and that is also hard. This is so hard on
> him as well and now as well as work he has my care to do. That is huge as
> there is very little I can do to help right now. I have friends who have
> pitched in for the last week but have to start doing some hiring etc. Also
> we were undergoing marriage counselling before all this and making progress.
> That is put on the backburner for now. I am sure our marriage will make it
> but this understandably puts another strain on it. Can life just for once
> go okay! The fall has been the pits after a very tough summer. Pat's
> parents are 86 and 90 and we have just moved them over here from a fairly
> isolated island home. We have been doing the moving, caregiving, doctor's
> appointment etc. They are living on their own but lots of problems -
> macular degeneration, large unruly dog, bit of demential for my father in
> law, cancer spot waiting to be removed from my mother in law's cheek. Just
> lots of little things.
>
> Anyhow feeling overwhelmed today and of course it is raining. I don't often
> feel low or stay low but can't get much lower today. Would love to cry and
> cry and cry. Of course expecting yet another call from another nurse today
> who is going to try yet another catheter and maybe tomorrow some
> anti-spasming meds. What the hell - can't hurt.
>
> Anyhow taking my miserable self back to bed. This feeling will be over
> tomorrow I am sure but today just seems kind of bleak.
>
> Kelly

.

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