Re: Pipes, a hot button issue?
- From: Josh Keirn <joshua.keirn@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 1 Dec 2007 18:37:45 -0800 (PST)
On Dec 1, 4:14 pm, adlut <hashimsh...@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
On Dec 1, 12:56 pm, Josh Keirn <joshua.ke...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I'm just wondering if anyone has experience with this situation. I'm
recently married, and haven't smoked a pipe or a cigar since a few
months before the wedding, and it had been months before that since
the last smoke (and I've never been a cigarette smoker). Anyway, my
then-fiancee and I talked about it, and she is pretty set against
smoking. She said it was up to me, and she could deal with it if I
chose to smoke, but at the time, I just said I probably wouldn't.
Well, it's been about 6 months since that conversation, and I'd like
to bring it up again. I want to be tactful, honest, and most
importantly, respectful to her. If she's dead-set against it, then
I'm not going to smoke. But I think her idea of smoking is what she's
been exposed to, such as people so addicted to nicotine that they
can't sit for an hour somewhere without a smoke, even if it means
smoking butts from the parking lot. She's not picturing the
occasional cigar, and not-more-than-a-few-bowls days rarely more than
once a week (and probably less often than that) of a pipe.
Anybody have any ideas of how I can gently bring it up?
Man, it's been a long time since I've posted on here( January or so).
Talk openly , express your objectives clearly , allay fears , find
solutions ( not compromises or backing down ) genuine solutions that
satisfy both positions .... there is a saying that a mans' home is his
castle ...but the garage is your sanctuary ... HH
Re: not talking about it, just doing it, or we should have figured it
out before tying the knot...
We did figure it out, she said it was up to me. So, at that point, it
was left at she didn't think it was the greatest idea, and I said I
probably just wouldn't smoke. What I was asking about was how people
would suggest bringing it up in conversation.
Mujin-thank you for your thorough and specific reply, and thank all
repliers for your thoughts.
I, too have done a lot of reading about the health risks, and the way
I explain it to people is that it's similar to cake in a lot of ways.
There's a potential for addiction (sugar has to be addictive at some
level, or else obesity wouldn't be so common, and we know that
nicotine tends to be rather addictive), it's fulfilling to consume
(let's be honest here, it's cake. Mmmmm. And we all know how
satisfying a nice, relaxed bowl of tobacco can be), too much generally
increases the risk for negative effects, but, when consumed in a
sensible manner, it's OK. You won't likely gain 100 lbs from eating a
piece or two of cake a week, and you won't likely get respiratory
disease or cancer from smoking a bowl or two a week.
And like I said, she's not psycho about it, it's just that the vast
majority of tobacco consumption she's seen in her life has been people
who are very seriously addicted to nicotine.
As far as the cost factor goes-I'm probably too much of a cheapskate
to spend too much, although I had 3 pipes (albeit rather inexpensive
ones-a $20-30 basket pipe, a $5-7 Miss. Meer., and a no-name clay
churchwarden from e-bay that set me back $16 or so) before moving!
Thanks for your input, guys.
- Re: Pipes, a hot button issue?
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