Re: OT Personal Attacks and Insults. (HUMOR)

You missed a couple of my favorites:

"I would warn you against entering a battle of wits when you're only half-armed."

"While it is true that some people wander about in a perpetual fog, you seem to have masterd the the uncanny ability of creating your own."

David wrote:
Recently I was entertained by the flurry of personal attacks and
insults peppering the various OT threads some of them directed against
moi; generally because they were overused and hackneyed, simplistic and
unimaginative such as *Don't Let the door hit you in the ass leaving
the room;* responding to a post as being silly simply because it
expressed a view at some difference with the psoter's etc.

With the thought of generally elevating the quality of attacks and
insults I have compiled the following. Please use it freely. It is ony
a beginning as the internet is replete with rather creative URLS with
insult generators.

BEGIN -

--Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't;
--I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a
much lower opinion of you;
--You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you'll find one;
--You have the warm personal charm of a millipede;
--.Your family tree is nothing but a rest stop for dogs;
--If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport;
--The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

-- Just when I think, "Surely this person has reached and encapsulates
the limits of Internet tedium" you go and push the boundary even
further. Dullard, do yourself and everyone else a favor: disconnect
your computer from the Internet.

--Sorry. I don't speak retardese. Can you get someone to translate into
meaningful English before you post, please? Rumor has it that you are
almost incomprehensible in person (as revealed by your desperate urge
to babble nonsensically on message boards.) No doubt, this rumor is
true.

--Your post is the world's greatest proof of reincarnation; no one
could get that dumb in just one lifetime. Your post is an orgy of
stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary
impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.

--You have that certain nothing. Truly, you are about as interesting as
watching a slug move slowly across a large rock. You are the kind of
person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when
one gets to know you better, one hates you. Maybe you wouldn't come
across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't so dumb
that even blondes tell jokes about you; if your weren't so fat that
buildings bounce when you haul your Sumo Wrestler mass down the street,
or if you didn't have a face that makes people ask: "Damn, is it
Halloween already?" Who am I kidding? You would.

--In closing, why don't you put your glasses on backwards and walk into
yourself?

--It sounds like English; it even looks like English, but I can't
understand a word you're blabbering. How about putting that into proper
syntax, form, and grammar so that I can at least understand what you
are saying before I dismiss it?

--Your message board incompetence is an inspiration to botched lobotomy
patients everywhere. Just as the strength of a solitary brick will not
save a poorly built structure, your bold typeface does not redeem your
craven incoherent words.

--It seems your fingers not only did your typing, but did your thinking
too. Have you considered suing your brain for non-support? Clearly, the
full area of your ignorance is not yet mapped. We are presently only
exploring the fringes of that vast expanse. Well, you're certainly
thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Ellen
Glasgow once remarked: "He knows so little and knows it so fluently."

Then there's some wonderful Shakespearean ones vis - oh I'll let you
look them up.
By the way PLONK seems to be the soulnd of a turd hitting the water in
the toilet bowl . Apparenbtly it is the sound and process so cherished
by the narrow and closed minded.

I hope some enjoy reading this brief list as mush as I did researching
it. <grin>

David Napierkowski

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