American history according to Texas and Tea Baggers
- From: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names <PopUlist349@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 21 May 2010 20:31:05 -0400
What U.S. History Would Look Like If It Were Written By Texas and
Arizona
By Christopher Deis, AlterNet
Posted on May 20, 2010, Printed on May 21, 2010
http://www.alternet.org/story/146945/
History is one part truth. History is also one part fable. It is a
site of political contestation and struggle. As the state of Arizona
(with its rules banning "Ethnic Studies") and the state of Texas
(reimaging its U.S. history curriculum to conform with the Tea Party
and Christian Nationalist perspective) have both embraced a more
"conservative" view of history, it only seems fair and reasonable to
take their efforts at face value. Theirs is not an assault on academic
freedom. No, it is an effort to diversify and make more inclusive and
"American" the curriculum taught to our children. Many, on both sides
of the political divide, have treated these new guidelines with much
derision and complaint. I suggest that the best way to understand the
teaching of history as imagined by this brave new world is to work
through the reality it offers. To that end, I present U.S. history as
outlined in the politically correct guidelines offered by Arizona and
Texas. Sometimes the old is indeed the new...welcome my friends to Tea
Party USA.
The Essential Dates and Events of U.S. History as Approved by the
States of Arizona and Texas
1607-- Jamestown founded. Capitalism, which can trace its roots to the
Bible, is now firmly rooted in the New World.
1660-1800--Triangular Atlantic trade continues to bring wealth and
prosperity to America while giving opportunities to new immigrants.
1776--War for Independence against the tyrannical, evil British
empire. Colonists suffer oppression that is unprecedented in human
history. Minutemen singlehandedly defeat the evil British Empire in
1783.
1788--The United States Constitution is signed as a document to stand
for all time, inspired by God, and never to be changed.
1803-1848--America continues to expand westward into empty
territories. American settlers make the land bloom with the help of
friendly Indian tribes.
1823--America guarantees the freedom of all countries and people in
the Western Hemisphere with the adoption of the Monroe Doctrine.
1848--Mexico, in an act of friendship following their humiliation at
the Alamo by the great Republic of Texas, gives their territories to
the United States.
1860s-1900s--The Gilded Age of prosperity. American capitalism
provides opportunities for all people to grow wealthy, secure, and
happy. Liberals and Progressives begin working against American
freedom and capitalism by forming unions, demanding unfair
compensation from their employers, limiting the rights of children to
work in factories, and imposing restrictive regulations for the
"safety" of employees. Many brave men die fighting Communist
influenced unions as they riot in America's cities.
1861-1865--Civil War fought because of an overreaching, tyrannical
federal government and its desire to limit the freedoms of all
Americans. 620,000 people die including many brave and noble black
Americans who fought on the side of the Confederacy. Northerners and
Southerners eventually find common ground through Redemption and move
forward as brothers and sisters in the USA.
1865-1870s--Democratic terrorists called the Ku Klux Klan begin a
reign of terror in the South until brave Republicans defeat them.
1906--Using the Antiquities Act, Theodore Roosevelt establishes the
National Park System. In one bold stroke Roosevelt establishes
Socialist policies that steal land from the American people.
1913--More Socialism and class warfare ushered into the U.S. with the
federal income tax system.
1917--America enters and wins World War 1 singlehandedly because the
French are cowards.
1929--Great Depression begins. Tens of millions unemployed because of
FDR's failed economic policies. His New Deal introduces the nanny
state, prolongs America's economic collapse, and weakens the economy
until Ronald Reagan renews America.
1941--Patriotic Japanese Americans volunteer to place themselves in
gated communities so that America will be safe from Imperial Japan.
1941-1945--America enters and wins World War 2 singlehandedly because
the French are cowards. Out of necessity, the United States drops
atomic bombs on Japan.
1945-1965--A high point in U.S. history, as freedom and prosperity
reign over all Americans.
1950--Senator Joseph McCarthy fearlessly highlights how America is
infiltrated by communists from Russia and China. Big Hollywood and the
liberal establishment are brought to their knees by his brave efforts.
1954--Brown v. Board of Education removes the parental right to send
children to the schools of their choice and with the company they
desire. A dangerous and unconstitutional era of activist Supreme Court
decisions begins.
1955-1968--George Wallace and Martin Luther King Jr. lead a Civil
Rights Movement to ensure that all Americans are judged by "the
content of their character and not the color of their skin."
1968--The cinematic classic The Green Berets starring John Wayne,
America's greatest actor, debuts.
1971--America largely withdraws from Vietnam on the cusp of victory
because it was weakened by The Gays, The Women's Movement, and "The
Counter-culture." The French are cowards whose failure forced the U.S.
to intervene in Indochina.
1973--Roe vs. Wade, the worst legal decision in United States history
is decided.
1974--Nixon forced to resign by liberal conspiracy.
1980--Ronald Reagan, America's greatest president, restores American
providence by ushering in a new era of economic prosperity, cutting
the federal budget, and corrects the unfair federal tax code in order
that the hard work of the richest Americans is justly rewarded.
1989--The Berlin Wall falls. Ronald Reagan wins the Cold War
singlehandedly.
1992-2000--Democrat president Bill Clinton in office. His reckless
personal behavior and irresponsible foreign policy choices weaken
America internationally. The U.S. economy is almost destroyed by his
tax policies. His wife Hillary Clinton furthers the march towards
Socialism by advocating for free public health care and to destroy the
insurance companies that drive us economic growth.
2000--George Bush elected in a landslide.
2001--Terrorists attack America on September 11th. Because of Bill
Clinton's policies, a weakened border, a lax immigration policy,
rampant multiculturalism, and the Democrats' weakening of the
military, America is left open to attack.
2003--Dr. King's vision is finally made real. In a landmark decision,
the Supreme Court strikes down the reverse discrimination policies of
the University of Michigan. Freedom rings across the land.
2003--The country of Iraq, a rogue state, part of the Axis of Evil,
and led by the dictator Saddam Hussein--a co-conspirator in the 9-11
attacks--is liberated by President George Bush.
2008--Barack Obama is elected. America is in a Constitutional crisis
as Obama is unable to prove that he is a U.S. citizen.
2008-the present. Brave Americans begin joining Tea Parties and 9-12
freedom groups. Millions of their members march on Washington DC..
Freedom fighter, James David Manning, places Obama on trial in
absentia for treason and sedition.
2008--Sarah Palin, mother, governor, author, actress, comedienne and
role-model begins here meteoric rise to political stardom. She ushers
in an era of robust, common sense approaches to political problems
tempered by real American values.
2010--Barack Obama remains President although his rule is
illegitimate. Brave patriots such as Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh
continue to lead the people's resistance against his tyrannical rule.
© 2010 Independent Media Institute. All rights reserved.
View this story online at: http://www.alternet.org/story/146945/
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