Re: BREAKING NEWS !! BUSH and CHENEY RESIGN !!

On May 28, 5:16 pm, "Kickin' Ass and Takin' Names"
<PopUlist...@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
On May 28, 6:02 pm, MuttonJeff <hoofhearte...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:





BUSH'S RESIGNATION SPEECH

The following 'speech' was written recently by an ordinary Maineiac [a
resident of the People's Republic of Maine]. While satirical in
nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective. This is
an excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living.

The speech George W. Bush might give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.'
Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible
has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all
in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid
prosecution or something, let me assure you: There's been no breaking
of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed
up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the
world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And
the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure
it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and
the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy
is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners,
including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're
mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership
is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was
during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has
rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are
participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine
about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that
gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of
the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more
worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic
security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil'
thing. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized
Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And
don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the
liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons
planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to
the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the
goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq
was official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named
'Clinton' established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?
Now some of you morons are considering another and more evil Clinton
for president !!!! Go figure that one!! She wants to take your kids
away and let the 'Whole Village' raise them! i.e. governmental
indoctrination .. Look this one up you dumb asses!

The rest of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no
understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we
should attack Pakistan, a nucular ally.  And then he wants to go to
Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he's going to destroy
us. While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda,
Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money
to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who
he will make into citizens, so they can vote to reelect him.  He also
thinks it's okay for Iran to have nucular weapons, and we should stop
our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during
the cold war, th ere were two major competing political and economic
models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because
fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We
were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't
care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as
long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them
as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are
all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in
the United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because
you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military,
law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure
of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be
a long and difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people
think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of
'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things
through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.
Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation
to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang it, you
might just a s well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts
to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over
the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times, USA
Today, or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any
smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with
Stars.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will
always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a
city that's below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your
own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient
house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford bef ore
I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will
ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age
before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your
new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully,
because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of
you remaining w ho are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America.

Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.

This tired old piece of *** has been circulating on the 'net for too
long now.

Anyone who posts this only reveals just how fucking ignorant he is.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Hey, I still think it's funny. Of course you libs have'nt had a smile
on your sad puppy dog faces since 2000. Cheer up. It's almost over.
You'll prolly get your marxist. All will be good.
.

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