"We have found that Al Qaeda has infiltrated the Democratic Party & is trying to take over Congress in this fall's election"

"Al Qaeda wants to take over Amurka & spread its deviant influence over the West. It wants Islam taught in our public schools. It wants to bring its notions of the homosexual lifestyle & spread it among our young people. It wants to destroy capitalism & free trade & replace it with Socialism. It wants to make oil free to the general public, to any & all who don't have the money to buy it. It seeks to convert our Christian nation into something Louis Farrakhan would be proud of."

"We have learned through our warrant-less wiretapping & data mining efforts that Al Qaeda is seeking to achieve this control of our society through legislation in our Congress by subversion & control of the Democratic Party."

"Therefore by Executive Order I am suspending the 2006 elections until November 2066, by which point we should have Al Qaeda on the ropes & hopefully will have rid the Democratic Party of its influence."

"A vote for a Democrat this fall would be like a vote for Al Qaeda. Therefore to protect the people of the United States & our Amurkan way of life I am suspending democratic elections here in the U.S. until further notice. Hopefully the fall of Al Qaeda will come long before November 2066."

"God bless the United Christian States of Amurka. Amen."

Signed by Executive Order of the President of the United States this date, October 31, 2006, by President Jorge Arbusto.

AMEN! Don't forget your tithe on the way out ;)

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