out of the hospital...again
- From: "jennieandchris@xxxxxxxxx" <jennieandchris@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:56:13 -0000
Hey everyone, I have been MIA for a few weeks, not by choice. I was
in the hospital for almost 3 weeks this time around. It proved to be
a good stay however because they dealt with my husband and how he
feels about the fibro and the chronic pain. I have been struggling
with it for a few years now and my biggest hurdle to get over way how
my husband felt about me being on the medications. I tried 3 times to
go off the pain medications but everytime I had to go back on. My
husband felt that it was because I was addicted and not because I
needed them. He felt that I was on such a high dose and the things
that I had didn't warrent a high dose let alone a low dose. While I
was in the hospital this time I was really worried that they were
going to do the treat me like an addict fiasco again and make things
hard on me. This time though I got a doctor who has chronic pain
himself and he totally understood and even was so sympathetic and
empathetic that I cried. He said that he wasn't going to let me leave
until the depression and the pain were under control and not just one
or the other. He said all the times in the past they would send me
away having barely dealt with one of the issues and never dealt with
Chris who was my biggest problem or dealt with the depression
properly. They held a family meeting in which they talked to Chris
about this whole thing. They had me describe to Chris exactly what
hurts, where and what condition I have that causes it. Chris cried
when I just got to one of the things, the fibro. After I was done
with this part they talked to Chris about how each of these conditions
would warrent low dose of pain medications to medium doses. They said
having all of these things together they have to have me on a higher
dose. Once they got that out they said that I need these medicaitons,
probably for life. They recommended some books to help both of us
learn how to live with the pain and how it is best to deal with
things like pain breakthrough or flairs. They told us we need to work
on it together so that we both are able to learn together. Then they
talked to us about getting rid of some of the pain with medications
but also surgeries that are supposed to happen. Once I get these
things taken care of they should be able to get the mediations down a
little bit but not to count on it. They told Chris and I to hope that
I can get off of the medications down the road but to be prepared to
be on them the rest of my life. Chris told them that his biggest
worry is addiction. They told him point blank that they were not
worried about addiction with me. They said that people in my
situtation are at low risk of addiction. This comforted Chris a great
deal but he has heard of so many people over dosing and dieing on
their medications that he is still scared. They told him that this is
a result of not having their pain properly treated. They said that
the people who over dose are either addicts that over did it or pseudo
addicts who are just trying to kill the pain and over do it because
they are doing it without doctor supervision. This helped Chris but
he is still worrried. They told him that if I end up out of it then I
am on too high of a dose and that if I am on the right dose I
shouldn't be out of it enough to make mistakes like that. Over
medication in any way comes from addiction or not getting treatment
properly. Now that Chris has been talked to by a team of doctors
about it and doctors who he trusts he is much better.
Monday was a hard day for me. I was up at night throwing up with a
stomach bug. He told me not to worry about the house and to rest and
didn't do his normal thing. He used to tell me I have things to do
and tell me to get it done when he gets home. If I didn't get it done
he would get upset with me. Now that he gets it much better he is
acting better and putting so much less pressure on me to stay on lower
doses. Now I am not afraid to ask for a dose increase if I need it.
I am so glad too because that was what landed me in the hospital. I
am so greatful for this trip. It gave me a vacation from the troubles
of home and kids and I was able to focus on me for a little while.
Chris struggled but managed the house great considering I wasn't there
to help him out. His family jumped in and helped him out in
everything they could. Ok, so I am doing better. I am mentally
stronger with everything that is going on and I am so greatful for the
doctors who believed me and stood up for me in every way. I am
greatful that the doctors supported me in everything and never doubted
me because I didn't act like an addict. They told me that about 90
percent of the people who come in were there for addiction and because
they were drug seeking. They said that it is so hard to find the ones
who truly need their help but that I was honest from the start and
when I said something it always checked out even though Chris
expressed his concerns about what was going on when he confirmed what
I told them. They understood though that he was looking at it from
the perspective of someone who hadn't been properly educated about
pain. I tried but they said that he needed to hear it from doctors
because he is a born sceptic.
So that is where I disappeared to. I should be able to be here more
now and add my talk a lot attitude to everyone. I am long winded,
even in writing. I am a medical transcriptionist so I know quite a
bit about what happens and all of that. I don't always think about
what to do and how it applies to me but that is what all of you are
here for. Thanks guys and I know that you didn't need to know where I
was, I just wanted to share the good news about Chris, my husband if
you didn't get that one. LOL
Jennie
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