LOL time


A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!!
A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the
plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant
explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get
off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had
noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her
Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout
the entire flight.
He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the
pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in
Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your
legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to
stretch his legs."
Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they
looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The
pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were
trying to change airlines!



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THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER


Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling
me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you
want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and
rub it between them for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, I fetch a
piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between
my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger
over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think
rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my
breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for
your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy,
he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals
through a straw. Stupid, stupid man.

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lampy

A Mogwai is simply a highly evolved Tribble


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