Re: Was in the Hospital - Hated It!!

I wish we never had to go through these horrific experiences because they
are a nightmare. I can still hardly talk about everything that went on in
the hospital. It is good thing I don't remember some of it. I remember
going into ICU and I was really scared I was going to die. I asked them to
call my husband and he came flying over there at 11:30 p.m. He said he was
beyond scared; didn't know what to do, felt helpless. My lungs and heart
were filling with fluid. I doubt my body can make it through another
episode like this. I don't think I want to go through anything like this
again. I am truly at my edge of what I am capable of handling and pray
nothing more is thrown at me. Good thoughts to you too.

Nettie

"dingalingdeb" <ding@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:gUelg.51784$771.47259@xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Rene; Same here - a 'normal temp' for 'normal people' is a fever for
me. I dunno what it was like when it was 104 in hosp, becasue I wasn't
really all that 'with it' :-) I think that the low grade fever is
something that most of us have though??????

Oy! I could feel every minute you spoke of Rene and feel so bad that you
had to go through that; I can remember so well, going down every day, 4x's
a day for xrays and whatever else - all involved lying on my back on those
tables - the pain was almost more than I could handle sometimes. I'd lie
there, keep my mouth shut and try very hard to put my mind
somewhere/anywhere else! This was the first time I was in hospital and
that was for 2 months I guess another reason was that I was so weak, I
couldn't even lift my leather jacket - weird! probably becasue a lung had
collapsed (filled with blood) during the splenectomy surgery and then I
got pneumonia right away and then the infections. the next three times I
was in hosp. I didn't have to go down for xrays as many times as the first
(at least not 4 freaking times a day). Oh, it was especially bad after the
splenectomy and I was cut from breast to pelvis and held together by those
big clamp/mattress/stitches, and had the ileostomy to deal with and the
bowel that they'd removed and also the appendix that they'd remove..
Hauling my *** out of the wheelchair and getting on that table and for
me, the backpain from lying on that table was as bad or worse - let's see,
you mentioned all your back probs; I'll try to remember mine :-) DDD/some
herniated disks/sciatica/osteoarthritis/scoliosis & bone spurs in my neck
& something else, I forget.
I cannot lie flat on my back at the best of times, because it seizes right
up and I pretty much can't move and the muscle spasms start....

It was cool when I went down to have the shunt put in - they were just
making a human pincushion (couldn't get the veins) so decided they'd have
to put a shunt in and said that they never have trouble getting that in,
that very seldom they'd have to do 2 tries, but that's it - well, they
tried 6x's all together. Anyway, one of the dr's who was tryin the shunt
(they used 3 different guys) said it's just not right that 'people like
me' (he meant fibro folks) should have to be so uncomfortable lying on
those tables - I told him that I think we should have things something
like kids' jolly jumpers, where we're suspended from the ceiling and lying
in some kinda hammock type thing.. I can just sooo relate to what it
was like for you Rene and I so wish it didn't have to be so. My way of
coping with stuff like that is that I just will not allow myself to think
about it. If it's something that has to be done, then just go ahead and do
it as quickly as possible to get over with. That's the way I especially
was with the ng tubes. I had them inseerted/taken out /put back in 13x's
...eew just do it and get it over with though. I did one time really
want to smack the nurse (I'd never say anything though :-) You know when
they're putting the tube up yourr nose and down into your stomach and they
give you a big glass of water to drink so you can keep 'swallowing' the
tube? well this one time the nurse had about a cup of water - I told her
that it wouldn't be enough - give me the right amount and I'll do my share
in getting it down. Even if I was wrong, it wouldn't have hurt her to get
me more water - just in case I knew what I was talking about, but she
didn't - I told her that it wouldn't work and what the heck skin off her
nose would it be to get me more water - nope, she didn't So they started
putting the tube down and I was drinking the water and \swallowing the
tube and of course I ran out of waer with the thing 1/2 way down my nose
and had to \ stop, as there was on water left - haul it out -get the
right amount of water do it again and then poof@ was ok. But that danged
tube is plenty uncomfortable and when you have to have it hauled out and
back in just because someone thought they knew more than you do (when
she's probably never had it done herself and I'd had it done 13x's
grrrrrr)

Wow! how I do go on ! Sorry, that was waaayy more info than anyone needed
to know and probably won't be able to make head nor tail out of it. Here's
hoping you'll catch a 'very' big break Rene!

dingaling db

Psychiatric christmas carols........schizophrenia.... 'Do you hear what I
hear"?


"Mercy" <someone@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:GCNkg.267$oc2.39@xxxxxxxxxxx
{{{{{{{Rene}}}}}}}

from Nettie

"René" <My.Pencil@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:pELkg.784609$084.149929@xxxxxxxxxxxx
Deb, ya know, I DO have a low grade fever most of the time. My normal
is about 97 -- and if it's 98.6, I'm sick. Been like that for the past
15 years. Also sore neck glands -- chronic.

The CT scan from Hell: I could barely keep my head up because I was so
sleepy from the fever. They put me in a wheelchair and the kid raced me
down to radiology as if we were in a Nascar race. It did feel cool on
my skin, though. lol You know I sleep in my recliner -- not for
convenience, but because every inch of my back and neck scream in pain
from any kind of pressure -- including the pressure of my own weight
when I'm on my back. 2 herniated disks. Osteoarthritis. Degenerative
Disk Disease. Spinal Stenosis. Plus bad, bad Chronic Myofascial Pain
everywhere I have muscles and skin in my body.

So, the kid left me sitting alone in an empty hallway -- not a soul to
be seen, and it was late evening. Finally, this slip of a girl comes
out and wheels me in. She tells my I need to "hop up here." Now, I
haven't hopped anywhere since grade school, and can barely walk
sometimes. I tried to tell her about my back and why it's nearly
impossible for me to lie flat. She must have been deaf and left her
hearing aids at home. Rush, rush, rush.

I finally get up and sitting on the side of the table. Now, I'm
extra-wide, and that table is extra-narrow. I had to lift my own feet
up and place them on the table. She was gone by that time. "Lie down
flat, now." I figured, "Well, if I fall off this damn thing, at least
I'm in the hospital." I was shaking like a leaf and did my best to lie
flat. I had to scootch my *** over to the middle several times, to
make sure I didn't turn right off the other side of the table. At least
it was soft. Quite nice, in fact.

I must have made a funny noise, though, because she was there again and
I told her I had to have something under my knees to take the pressure
off my lower spine. "OK. Lift your feet." I lifted up one foot, and
she shoved this triangular brick under the calves of my legs. I tried
to tug it up under my knees, but it was very heavy and felt like it was
stuck to the table underneath. She's gone again. "Put your arms over
your head, now." Let me tell you. I cannot put my arms over my head.
The pain is excruciating and I've been told to NOT put my arms up over
my head because of the surgery I've had on both shoulders, and the
herniated disk in my neck. So, I clasp by hands together and raise my
arms as far as they would go -- to my forehead. She said that wouldn't
do and I said it damn well would have to do.

"Hold very still. Hold your breath." I do so, and feel the stuff
moving and doing its thing. I nearly passed out before she said,
"Breathe." Had to do that about 4 times. I kept telling myself that I
just needed to endure it, then it would be over, and I wouldn't have to
do it again. Then when it's all done with, she says, "OK. You can get
back into the wheelchair." I CAN? No, I CAN'T!! I said, "Well, I'll
need help to sit up." She stands about 2 feet away from me, and extends
one hand. Oh, yeah, that'll really help. So I grabbed her hand, hard,
and hauled myself up. I figured, if I go down, she goes down with me.

I'm in my wheelchair again and wheeled out into the empty hallway and
left there to rot. About 20 - 30 minutes later, the kid bounces in and
races me back to my room.

The last time I had a CT scan, I had to have a tranquilizer, and a lot
of assistance. They were terrific and it wasn't too bad. I knew that
this time, I had been screwed.

And Deb, thank you for understanding when I said I would never be able
to tolerate being incapacitated. It's a damn shame that we'd ever have
to acknowledge what can be lived with and what cannot. It's sad that
anyone has to make these kind of life/death choices.

I'm feeling better, though, and hope I get some energy back.

René



"dingalingdeb" <ding@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:4g4jg.35561$I61.636@xxxxxxxxxxx
Rene; I can certainly empathize with your opinion on suicide. My
biggest fear would be to be incapcated - and yeah, I guess I was for
quite a while over the past year and it's horrible. Sorry to hear of
your ordeal in hospital - glad you're out, but hope you're 'ready' to
be out. I had a 104 fever once that I know of while in hosp, because I
remember one of the nurses taking temp and saying 104 and then everyone
scurrying around :-) I just had a thought - do you run low grade
fevers? I think a LOT of us fm'rs do - my temp will be 95-96 and I'll
be soaked with sweat and have a fever - so I imagine that if one of
'us' has a fever of 103/104 it must be pretty major for us?? Yup, it's
scary and frustrating and very angry making when you're home alone and
you can' t even get yourself a drink of water. I know what you mean, I
had so much blood taken and it was such an ordeal every time that they
sent me down to have the shunt put in - you know, where they run a dye
through and they use 'biotic/whatever' arms and put it in next to your
heart? Anyway, they 'said' that doing it that way was a one-go, done
deal - then when he couldn't get it the first time he said 'well, once
in awhile it'll take two tries... they used 3 different guys and got
it on the sixth try - oh yeah and it was stitched around my neck and I
pulled the stitches out (not on purpose :-). What happened that made
your CAT scan so bad? what a shame. I'm so glad you can sleep in your
own bed/chair :-) that would be hard trying to sleep in s bed after so
long.

I'm glad that your dr. saw you before you left the hospital. Hope you
have an appointment to see him at his office soon, just to make sure
your're doing 'as well as can be expected'.

Rest and take it easy,

dingaling deb

If life's a big joke, why don't I get it?


"René" <My.Pencil@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:gdDig.1015977$xm3.218507@xxxxxxxxxxxx
A couple of weeks ago, I knew I was getting the start of a bladder
infection. Not too bad, but enough to know it was going to get worse.

I couldn't get in to see my doctor until Friday, when my daughter got
off work and could take me. By that time, I knew I had a fever and
was vomiting everything. I was the last patient in Urgent Care at
9:30 pm. The doctor gave me enough antibiotics to last until my
daughter could get to the drug store. I took one as soon as I got
home, and up it came -- along with my usual 3X a day Oxycontin.

So DD called the doctor and he told her I should go to the ER. Off we
went, and things sorta slipped out of focus then. I remember some of
the ride, but not getting into the car. My temp was 103F when I got
there and they tried very hard to get an IV in me. I have the world's
worst veins, and even the Flight Team guys couldn't get a line in. By
that time, I felt like I was in this long, dark tunnel and whatever
was happening to me was superfluous.

My DD, however, was counting all the needle jabs and said it took them
8 tries. They told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital. I had
expected to go to the ER, get a shot of antibiotics, something for the
N/V, then go home loaded with prescriptions. Next thing I knew I was
up on 5th floor and being wheeled into a small room.

The dark tunnel took over and I couldn't keep my eyes open. It was
very lucky that I always carry an up-to-date list of all my medical
and surgical stuff. They had it all -- including my long list of
meds, and the name of my pain management doctor. I just drifted into
a cocoon of vague images. I had this feeling that being sick wasn't
so bad because I could sleep, sleep, sleep.

The next day, the doctor examined me and palpated my abdomen. My
right flank and mid section were very tender to touch. So, he orders
an Ultrasound the next day. The day after that, I had a CT scan,
which was an experience from hell.

My fever subsided and I became more and more aware of how
uncomfortable I was. You know that I've been sleeping in my recliner
for several years, so that hospital bed was a torture chamber. Even
with head and feet adjustments, it was horrible.

By Tuesday, I announced I was going home. They gave me the usual,
"Oh! You can't leave until the doctor sees you" stuff. I said, "Oh!
Yes, I can." It was 4pm and the doctor hadn't even made rounds. I
told the RN that if he didn't show up by 6, I was just getting up and
going home. Getting away from that bed was that important to me. She
said she'd call him. He was in my room at 5:30. He wanted me to have
some more GI type tests, but I said "No" and he said I could go.
(Gee, thanks)

I've been taking my pills and sleeping pretty much ever since. In my
beautiful, blue velvet Lazy Boy recliner!!!! But while I was in the
hospital, I realized that I could never be a chronic bed patient.
When I get older and get to the point where I can't take care of
myself, I'd find the means to find my own way out.

It's not my depression, but my recognition of how much I can and
cannot tolerate regarding my pain and other ailments. In that one
area of daily living, I am absolutely positive that I cannot be
expected to be on a hospital bed longer than 4 days. I really don't
believe in suicide because of feelings of hopelessness. But I can
believe in it because of feelings of helplessness. There's a big
difference.

René











.