Re: lupie invading your forum

Hi NZ. Is Lupus diagnosed through a specific test, or a series of symptoms?
Interested, but don't know much about it. Thanks. Nanny
"NZ awyn" <newbubble@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1146524079.823644.214170@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi,
I'm a new member, so I may have missed the talks on guilt and
such....so anyone willing to write in and help me out...blessings to
you! I know that Fibro and lupus are sisters and this group has high
ratings....unfortunately the lupus groups have very low
activity....hope you don't mind me crashing your party!
I have had lupus for 2 years. I was fortunately diagnosed quickly....I
had a bloody ton of the symptoms and had 3 of the major triggers at
once, so the doc was quick to jump on it and test me. I have had it
confirmed and I know it isn't in my head. I flare now and then & yet I
still fuss with accepting my limitations. I live with constant
exhaustion, but I still can't seem to get with the idea of coping,
depending, leaving the old me behind, etc.
I was cleaning the shower the other day (sometimes a three day job) and
thought 'do I want a written note from the Gods saying that I have
lupus and I am allowed to be sick?' . I visited the doc and he and I
both felt it was time for anti-depressants. Honestly, I am just having
a hard time accepting that my independence is gone. I have been
diagnosed in the past with
obsessive compulsive disorder....now it's a mild urgency that
everything is neat
and tidy. I used to work and take care of myself. Now I am relying
totally on my fiance to take care of everything. I used to 'be
cool'....I was a river raft guide, a forensics intern, a scuba diver,
an archaeology student....now, I am someone who stays at home all day
with no responsibilities, no independence.
I have guilt the size of mountains. I have frustrations the size of
volcanoes. And I have had people recommend books, but I have found that
a mass majority of the people who 'live successfully with lupus' are on
steriods. This is something I have chosen NOT to do. I don't want to
head down that path.
So, this means that everyday is subject to the whims of my body. This
means my partner's life is subject to my disease as well.
Do any of you struggle with this guilt? How do you cope? I don't intend
to stay on anti-depressants forever, but I am having a very hard time
just accepting the changes and dependency that now rule my life.
just looking for help and sorry for the whining!!!!
sending warmth and light,
NZ awyn



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