Re: Mom and Dad

CHEEKY *** wrote:
Mercy wrote:
Dad's surgery went well and he is coming home today but Ed and I have
to go back to their house and watch over mom and dad for 1+ days
again. My brother has to leave. Mom is so weak she can hardly get
dressed. Something has to give here. SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER!!!!!!

Nettie

((((((((((((((((((Nettie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sounds like all of you can really use some outside nursing help.
Remember to take your meds and try to rest when they are resting!!!!

CB


{{{{{{Nettie}}}}}}
I feel such empathy for you. You are where my sister and I were with my Dad, except that you still have your Mom.
If your Dad refuses to acknowledge that your Mom can not take care of him, and he can't take care of her, then the only thing left is to get their situation evaluated by a social worker. If he refuses to take reasonable steps to ensure they can be safe in their current situation, then the only thing left is to have him legally declared incompetent, because he is endangering not only himself, but YOUR MOTHER, his WIFE! as well as YOU, his daughter who is fighting cancer!

Sorry for the shouting. I'm not aiming it at you. I just wish I had done more shouting myself where it would have done some good when Mom was still around; she might well still been alive if I had. But she _always_ insisted Dad was right and put up with all the misery his condition entailed. Truth is, he should have been in a nursing home years before, but that's easy to say in hind sight.

It is impossible for even a healthy person to be a 24/7 caregiver to two invalids. Consider the team available in a nursing home - nurses, doctors, orderlies, dietitians, physiotherapists, psychologists, cleaning and laundry staff (I'm sure I've left some out). Even if each resident only requires a portion of these services daily, it is still more than one person can do, and in fact, these people are available at any time (in shifts) 24/7 should the need arise. You simply can NOT do everything they need done.

'Stubborness' can be just another symptom of failing mental faculties - faulty cognition and inappropriate reasoning. I'm so sorry you have this row to hoe, in addition to your own problems. But you and your brother must do what is necessary to keep them safe, and to save yourself as well, hard as it may be, even if it means forcibly moving them into an assisted living facility.

Please look after yourself.

Hugs,
Margo
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