Re: Finally end of bad 2 days-long
- From: "Squirrely" <squirrely@xxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 18 Apr 2006 18:14:18 -0700
Oh Nina, my heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain and hurt. My hugs
and love to you.
I know all to well abuot no insurance, can't get medical attention, and no
money. I am right there with you. Heck we might not even have a place to
live next month. So much for him getting a job when the boss doesn't pay
him.
I feel your pain on missing those you have lost. I also do too. I sometimes
think I wouldn't miss those so much if it weren't for the chronic illnesses
I have and that is when we need our moms the most. So my heart is with you
on that one too. My mom died when I was 17. Now am 50. You would think I
wouldn't feel the need for her like I have been. ;-)
I understand about your spirit is breaking more and more each day. I also
know that one too.
So you are not alone in some of this stuff. I know that doesn't help you,
but I do want you to know that we can understand and do care about what you
are going thru.
If there is anything I can do to help you out let me know. I know it isn't
much help when I can't help you find a dr, get medical attention, and have
money. But I am a good listener, etc. If you would like to call sometime or
I could call you on the weekend when I have free cell minutes, please let me
know. If you would like to talk on the phone, email me, my addy is not
messed with so it will come to me by what is in the header.
Do you know what is causing the cysts, and are they like boils, or tumors or
what. That sure sounds so terrible to be dealing with it affecting your
headaches and limited use of arm.
If you ever want to talk in email you are always welcome in my email box.
Sometimes I can't get back right away but I do try to read them once a day.
So I would try to get back to you then or as soon as possible.
--
Hugs, prayers, good thoughts,
Warm fuzzies, TLC, and Love
Squirrely Jo
It's 4:54 am Sunday,Easter.I' ve been without sleep at all since waking up
at 7:00 Friday morning knew it would be a hard day or so, my Mom died 6
years ago the 15th.So did my little dog,Samo.When they came to get my
Mom's body they had to come and tell me that for no apparent reason my dog
was also in the room dead.They felt really bad, offered to come back and
bury him.
I was alone that day with Mom,as usual and although I wanted to see her
stop suffering, I very much wanted her to stay with me.Even when she
couldn't speak anymore, there was comfort in putting my head beside hers
on the pillow or holding her hand.I still miss that desperately.
I usually feel better when I talk to my deceased husbands mother ,so I
gave her a call.And felt a lot worse.My husbands Father tried to commit
suicide and somehow it was like a slap in the face. I also found out his
only bio daughter(my husbands) is getting married in October.And he should
have been there to walk her down the isle,for both their sakes.It makes me
both angry and heart broken at the same time.It doesn't help that his time
of death is less than a month away.But he really should have been around
for that and so much more.
His sister who became paralyzed last year isn't doing well either, can't
seem to get some of her health issues under control.
She actually had a disk chip while washing her hair and severe the spinal
cord.Let's get real, who has a life altering hair washing accident.She has
3 teens who are acting up.
I just couldn't go to Mom's grave today,I really felt like I might cry and
never ever stop.
It seems that my spirit is breaking more and more each day.I'm broke,can't
work,can't get medical attention I need,my pain levels are on a slow
steady rise.Of course no one can see that and they just think I'm a
whiny,cranky bitch.I'm afraid there is more than fibro going on but they
want cash before they do the test to find out.So what will they do?An
autopsy when I am dead?Cyst on right side of neck and shoulder growing
rapidly,causing severe headaches as it creeps up the back of my neck.Also
creeping down shoulder,seems to be growing in the muscle and is really
limiting use of arm.
I did go shoot a couple games of bad pool with SIL from first marriage
tonight.Drank 1/2 a drink, but it was nice to get away.Until I got back
and saw that the hours of hard work I put into cleaning house were totally
destroyed.I'm just too down to fuss about it,feel like just throwing
everything in trash and leaving,but I don't really have anywhere to go
that would be any better.It seems that my life and this DD are just
totally draining all the spirit out of me.I made a very real promise,one
that I'd never break, to my children, that I would never,for any reason,
take my own life.I've been going to church and while I do find some
comfort there, it's not the answer I'm looking for.The worst thing is I'm
not even sure what the damned question is anymore.If anyone has any advise
on how to begin to rebuild a life that has been totally destroyed, every
dream I ever had a long with it, I sure could use it right about now.
Lost in my own empty mind,Nina
*** Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com ***
.
- References:
- Finally end of bad 2 days-long
- From: Nina,Princess of Pain
- Finally end of bad 2 days-long
- Prev by Date: Re: Anybody know...
- Next by Date: Re: i really need some sweet help
- Previous by thread: Re: Finally end of bad 2 days-long
- Next by thread: Re: Finally end of bad 2 days-long
- Index(es):
Relevant Pages
|
Loading
