Re: Stinkin tired

Nettie, (I hope others here read this and understand it)
I think what makes me mad and you angry is when we are younger and sicker
than our older parents.
It just aint right and should not be like this.

Pat Caprio a dear friend also kills herself to drive and take care of her
parents and hides how sick she is also and then returns home drained.

I get bitter because this is not fair at all.

Take away my CFS and FMS and your cancer and I could accept the rest of the
things as part of getting older.
For me (and probably you) it wasn't like this all hit me yesterday, it's
been going on and getting worse for years and I didn't know how bad because
I had it covered with booze.

It just seems that at every corner there is another blow and even the little
things bother us that normally would not if it wasn't on top of how we feel.

Hugs,

CB

"Mercy" <someone@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:0NO_f.76$%21.61@xxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Lori. Thanks for saying that but I don't feel I do much; especially
lately. When Ed got home yesterday, I felt a little better plus my best
friend called me and we talked through some of the stuff. It seems every
now and then I get really down and get into a funk. It is as if
everything catches up with me. I am worried again about my mom and dad
but I guess at 88 years old, that is a given. Their health is failing and
one of these days they will be gone. If its not mom, then its dad. Mom
improved and now dad's heart is in trouble. I know they have had a long
happy and productive life. But I keep getting reminded that the
inevitable is just around the corner. Life will never be the same without
them. God keeps granting me more time with them and I am so thankful.
Most people don't have their parents this long. They are such good folks.

Anyway, I know you and everybody else has lots on their plate too. I just
hope this first regime of chemo works and the cancer mass is gone. I just
cannot imagine how awful some people have it when they go through the big
time chemo. The dr. said that some day I will end up having to do that
because 100% of his with my kind of lymphoma do. All of this is taking
its toll on Ed too. He's been so good in taking care of me. Right now
he's not getting much in return. He says he just happy that I am still
around. But, I want to be able to be the partner he married and want us
to share some good times together again.... they are few and far between
lately. The problem is when we get sick, it affects everybody around us.
My little grandson was over on Sunday. When he saw me, his eyes lite up
and he said, "Grandma, are you better"? I said, "yes Tyler, I am better."
He turned to his mom and dad and elated and said, "grandma is better." We
had so much fun for the hour or so that they were here. He just couldn't
get enough of my attention. Then we (both little guys and me) curled up
in a blanket on the floor for a few minutes and they loved it. Anyway, I
hope I am around to watch them grow up and can go to the graduations and
weddings etc. Besides Ed, they are the love of my life. But now my
stepdaughter is also having a baby due around Thanksgiving. Another
wonderful blessing. She and her husband just bought a house and are
moving in next month. There are wonderful things going on around me and I
feel like this slug who cannot participate very much. Anyway, that's me
today. Things will get better, I know. This too shall pass. Now that I
have written a book here, I will say, another huge thanks to those who are
helping me through all this crap. Again, you have no idea how much I
appreciate being able to come here and pour my heart out and not be
judged. I guess when we are sick, and feeling physically rotten, we
cannot easily see the good around us.... my bad.

Love and Hugs,

Nettie

"LoriB.o.B." <banjobabe@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1144722755.943010.68450@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(((((((((((((((((Nettie))))))))))))))))))).
Wish I could give you what you need, all I have is to send you a cyber
hug after "listening".
Sweet baby, you do soooooo much for others all the time...I think god
is tellin' you to give or take some of that back right now. Sometimes
that's harder to do.
JMO & Hugz,
Kindly,
LoriB.o.B.
ps-the "god" stuff just slipped out after reading about your pastor,
who let you down for certain.





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