Re: I Sooooo Sowwy!!!
- From: saavik <saavik@xxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 12:57:03 -0500
Janey Pooh wrote:
Looking over the posts since the last time I was here, I gotta say - "I
SO SOWWY!!"
{{{{{{{{Group Hug}}}}}}}}
I'm sorry that I haven't been around to help shoulder some of you guys'
burden by offering my support and sympathy. I'm also sorry to any of
you who worried about me. I honestly didn't realize it had been so
long since I posted or read anything.
Nettie, you're SUCH a trooper!! You're doing an amazing job coping
with what's going on in your life, and it sounds like Ed's being REALLY
helpful to you. Clancy has the problem of being so worried that his
own feelings overwhelm his ability to help me, and sometimes he
actually seems angry at ME for what's going on in our lives. I'd love
to have a man who could just be totally supportive to WHATEVER it is
that I need in those times of trauma, and leave his own demons outside
the door or vent them on someone else. Your Luci & Desi story sounds
like that kind of guy. :o)
S&L -- I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much SH*T in your life
right now and all I can offer is the old timeworn adage - "What doesn't
kill us makes us stronger." Every time I've had to deal with serious
adversity in my life, I learned valuable lessons from it and it turned
me into a different, more savvy person. This past year has changed me
again and I went through several bouts of thinking "Why me? What's the
point? I wanna give up."
But I didn't. And I AM getting better. Changed forever, yes. But
better. I'm not nearly as depressed about the whole situation as I
was, even though my situation continues to get weirder and doctors
can't figure me out and say I'm a "difficult case". LOL
Coping is a better attribute than moping. (Just made that one up. I
think I'll keep it.)
Regarding my abscence of recent, I have in my defense only excuses -
ifs, ands, buts and maybes. LOL
Clancy has been home most of the time for weeks now. To be honest, I
can't WAIT for him to get back to full-time work -- which is next week,
hopefully. The plan is for the crews to start up again full-time next
week and then we can all get back to our regularly scheduled programs.
When he's home, I don't get much chance to be on the internet except in
the middle of the night (it's 4:30 a.m. here right now) and I've just
been watching a bit of t.v., then going back to bed lately. It means
I've been getting more sleep, which is a GOOD thing. But it means I
miss out on my AMF time. ;o)
I mentioned in my reply to Angel's "From This Day Forward - March 29"
thread that I've lost the verve to write, and that's kinda true. But
it's more like I've lost the verve to do anything, really. I quit
going to my exercise class, I'm not doing Tai Chi, I haven't gone for a
walk by myself in weeks, months maybe. I *HAVE* to get back some
motivation to LIVE again. That's part of why I haven't been here, I
guess. Just no verve to do it. But I'm gonna try harder. :o)
When I got back from my appts. in Calgary with the Neurologist and
Neurosurgeon, still having serious problems and still with no answers
or solutions, I got sick and tired of it ALL and didn't want to think
about any of it anymore. I stopped going to my psych, cancelled an
appt. and didn't make another one. I quit going to exercise. I quit
coming here to talk about it or any other medical issue. I got sick
and tired of it ALL.
But I didn't replace it with anything and the truth is - I AM sick and
I'm not ready to pretend I'm not. I *do* need help and I can't pretend
I don't. And as far as this newsgroup is concerned, I have other FMily
here who need my help too - what little of it I have to give.
So - that's why I haven't been here and I'm sorry, contrite, guily,
remorseful, sad, _________ insert other synonymous emotions here. ;o)
I shall try harder to be here more often, and it'll be easier once
Clancy goes back to work next week.
Special thanks and special SOWWY to LoriB.o.B. the worry-wart. ;o)
Take GOOD Care,
luv Jane
Sounds like you took a much needed break - no biggie, except we do worry
aboutcha' if you don't say 'Hey!' from time to time. Sorry you are still
going through all that sh*t,but at least the docs are working with you, not
against you (at least I hope that's what it means).
As for feeling unmotivated, boy do I understand that. I _hate_ the tag end
of winter Feb/March are the worst months - far too cold to do anything,
even or _especially_ going for walks. I'm talking Ottawa weather, but I
imagine it's much the same in Alberta, if not colder.
But spring is coming; there is real warmth to the sun and the days are
getting longer. That in itself gives me a little boost of energy?,
optimism?, enthusiasm?. Makes me suspect there's a bit of Seasonal
Affective Disorder in both our cases, on top of everything else.
In any event, it's good to read your words , and I'm hoping you'll feel
like writing to us again.
Hugs,
Margo
.
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- I Sooooo Sowwy!!!
- From: Janey Pooh
- I Sooooo Sowwy!!!
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