re: Walgreens link, welcome from Lori
- From: "carly" <carly.greeneyes@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 30 Mar 2006 10:52:30 -0800
Thank you for the welcome, Lori.
I keep popping in over here and chronic pain, but haven't had much time
to stick around. As well as fibro, diabetes, carpral tunnel pain, and
painful fluid retention, I have a bipolar disorder which is causing me
all kinds of grief. Probably something I'm not thinking of as well.
I just can't get myself together. I have way too much to do, and have
lost any motivation to do it. My daughter and I live together, and
number one household member is "A" my granddaughter. I don't mean to
be mysterious, but there is a father issue so have to use a pseudonym
and not identify my daughter or granddaughter by name. He's been out
of the picture since my daughter was six mo. pg, and we want to keep
him there. He is a pathological liar and habitual criminal of the
petty variety (drugs and theft). The last time he kept our car without
permission my daughter kicked his a*s out. He said some very ugly,
nasty things then and we've done all we can to stay away from him,
although he probably knows where we are, but we don't take any chances.
We don't need the heartbreak and problems he and his family would try
to cause.
I am so tired and so tired of being tired. I don't want to do
anything, or at least can't get anything accomplished. Part of the
problem is getting it started, then something else needs to get done,
and pulling that out and putting it on top of what's already out, and
pretty soon, a big pile of stuff, many big piles of stuff all out of
place and can't find anything. And I'm losing it emotionally. I can
go off at any time. The bipolar has me up and down all the time. I
want to sleep, need to sleep, don't want to sleep, I'm on here multiple
times a day, trying to make a connection somewhere, somehow. I'm stuck
at home as we only have one car and I don't feel like shuttling my
daughter back and forth, can't afford the gas, and don't have the
energy.
And my granddaughter needs more attention than I am able to give her.
I try to I stop and play with her, and that's part of the reason
nothing gets done, I just feel like I'm in a never ending cycle of too
much to do, can't get it all done, feel bad, feel worse because I can't
get it done, my daughter has been very sick for several months, it's
all she can do to go to work. We're in a big mess and I don't see any
damn way out. I'm not suicidal, but I probably would be if it weren't
for "A." She is such a joy and tells me all the time she loves me.
She loves to cuddle. I love her very much. I really want a life.
Well, have I whined enough? I really feel like a hopeless case, and
others have so many more serious physical problems. I really hate that
one thing after another keeps popping out of our bag into our life.
Thanks for listening to me.
Carly
.
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