Re: Hiding

The post below written by Kathy is a helluva lotta wisdom in one place.

I'm sending you good vibes and healing wishes, Nettie...and will be thru
out all of this. This is something you can ask for from FM'ly because we all
can give 'em and they work...they really do work.

Unhidden Hugs,
Rosie S.
Dame of Dementia

--
"If you wanna get it done, you gotta fight for yourself." -- Meat Loaf, Bat
Outta Hell II
"KathyinSacto" <katroberts@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:dfa862d0e1de032cbe1a7ceedfeed92c@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nettie said,

I think I've been hiding. Ed left Sunday for Omaha and I am feeling so
low. I see the oncologist tomorrow. Surgery is March 18th. I find it
difficult to talk about it even though I think about it far too much. I
sure wish I could be stronger and my faith is swaying. I scared friends
but I don't know how to ask for help and who to ask.....<<

And on the other side, friends don't know what to say. Having gone through
my mother's death, and her friends slowly stop showing up -- I realized
they just "didn't know what to say." What mom wanted to hear was how
~they~ were doing. And maybe 'share' with a friend how scared she felt."
But kept getting, 'Get Well Soon!' cards, when for crying out loud... this
is the end. She ISN'T going to "get well soon." VISIT. ASK QUESTIONS.
Let that person let it out.

I remember the lady across the street. Went in to have a breast removed.
When I visited her in the hospital I said, "Are you scared?" She said
yes,
but she's so afraid to scare her family and friends she just acts like
it's
nothing and feels cheated she is thinking of THEM and no one even asked,
"are you scared... how do you feel? What changes have you noticed?
Anything I can do?

And then she just let it all out on me. Mostly, because I asked and the
person going through this needs to talk. And all (I think.. I may be
wrong) the person going through it should do is shout to high heaven,
"I'm afraid!" It's an opening for your friends to admit they're afraid
too. But a dialogue gets started.

I'll be praying for you. I know your faith is swaying. How could it not?
But find a true friend, one you can talk to without them being
uncomfortable. And tell them, 'don't be uncomfortable.' I know you don't
have magic words. I just need communication. I need to let MY feelings
out or I'll go crazy keeping it inside.

{{{Nettie}}}}

Love, Kathy in Sacto




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