Re: Update Archer^Jo

{{{{{ArcherJo}}}}} I can soooooo relate to the feelings of being overwhelmed
and discouraged, and I don't even have the results of a fire to contend
with. You have my total sympathy for what you are going through; it's enough
to make anyone want to hide under their blankies until it's over.
Unfortunately you do not have that luxury; no wonder you feel depressed (at
least, I _think_ that is what the 'lack of joy' means in this case).
It's a good thing your friend Chris is able to give you some support. WOuld
speaking with your doc be of any help?

More hugs,
Margo

Archer wrote:

> Hi Fmily,
>
> It appears I'm now having major emotional reaction to the 12/2 fire.
> I've dealt well with all the trades that have been here (roofers,
> electricians, plumbers, drywallers, painters) starting 1/9. Have had
> what initially felt like a welcome breather with no one here yesterday.
>
> Instead I just suddenly feel overwhelmed and discouraged. This doesn't
> feel like my home anymore. Having gone through fixing this place up
> starting last February, it was very hard but joyful. Now it seems
> patched and there is no joy anymore.
>
> I'm buried in the details my insurance company is demanding.
> Pain/exhaustion have been high, but I was able to sleep from 9pm to 5am
> and stay on schedule. I've gained 7# which pisses me off.
>
> On Wed 2/2 my contractor and "structure" adjuster from Allstate will be
> here at 9:30 for an "inspection". My jacuzzi has burns on it, the wall
> and floor tiles have black marks that won't come off, the grout is
> missing or yellowed and even though the bathroom is where it all
> started, jerkoffs Allstate and contractor didn't allow any $$ for
> repairs of this area! Thus the "inspection". The contractor now gets
> it but Allstate does not.
>
> Contractor's plumber was here on 1/23 and said the jacuzzi needs to be
> replaced as well as the tile and it will take 10-14 days. So Allstate
> is bitching.
>
> Then the high end carpeting I bought will be professionally cleaned.
> Contractor already believes some areas will remained stained and it'll
> have to be decided if just a certain area needs to be replaced or *all*
> of it. It was hell having it done the first time but joyful to see the
> result. No joy now.
>
> Then my house will be thoroughly cleaned top to bottom - supposedly -
> and that will be the end. Could be as late as April.
>
> This doesn't feel like home.
>
> Spouse thing continues to have outrageous mood swings so nothing has
> changed there. I find myself muttering under my breath "***, and
> other more explicit vulgarities" on a daily basis. I guess that part of
> home will never change. Just try to stay out of the line of fine.
>
> I've had an ear infection so can't wear my hearing aid, have acute
> bronchitis, costochondritis and so much pain everywhere it seems even my
> eyelashes hurt.
>
> My friend, Chris who discovered the fire has been working elsewhere then
> Monday I was moving LR furniture, vacuuming and there he was in my
> kitchen (he has a key). I had to laugh as my hair was dirty, flipped
> askew on my head, I was a sweaty mess wearing my pajama top and giant
> sweatpants. What a sight I must have been and what a welcome sight he
> was. He immediately helped me finish moving the really heavy stuff.
> The multiple hugs felt good even though the costo feels like my ribs are
> broken.
>
> He's going to stop in briefly every day for the rest of this week to
> "keep me out of trouble". He 'gets' the pain I have, the lack of
> hearing, etc. and doesn't want me to keep hurting myself. It was too
> late yesterday and now I'm stiffened/frozen in pain.
>
> I've popped onto AMF on occasion. Lots of names I don't know. So many
> posts I have to mark all read though do read some and wish my head was
> on straight enough to offer welcomes and support to more of you.
> Especially since you've been so supportive for me.
>
> Spouse thing is getting up and I am going to take a much needed shower.
> I need my jacuzzi dammit!
>
> Oh, this computer!! This jabberwockjo profile (when it died & needed
> repairs) I've lost all of you from addressbook, bookmarks, and other
> than newly dl'd msgs all that was in my NS Inbox, Sent, Drafts were a
> few 2000 msgs. That lost stuff is probably on here somewhere. Maybe
> I'll eventually find the 5 missing years. I did get an external hard
> drive and on Sunday backed up everything <she said sounding like she
> knows what she's doing>.
>
> Miss you all and hope I'll eventually catch up on how you're feeling,
> what you've been up to and meet the newbies (or figure out who has
> changed screen names).
>
> Thanks for reading my unintended long bull***.
>
> O's 'n X's, Jo
>
> --
> * Archer^Jo^Lula reporting from the Tower of Babble
> * Latitude 42.238, Longitude -83.687
> * My site: http://mywebpages.comcast.net/eccentricity/
> * FMS page: http://mywebpages.comcast.net/eccentricity/fms_etc.html
> * Ltr/Normals: http://www.healingtides.net/a_letter_to_normals.htm

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