Re: pain and emotions

and thank you both for reminding me to print this out :-) one of my
neighbors is heading into the gray-zone, he's in the first year of dealing
with being disabled ( he's got a heart condition), and it might help him a
bit.

--
lynn
"dingalingdeb" <ding@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:24hzf.73962$m05.69681@xxxxxxxxxxx
> I hearya Rene'; your words remind me of a line in the book/movie 'Delores
> Clayborne' (by Stephen King) where Delores (Kathy Bates) says 'Sometimes
> being a bitch is all a woman has to hold on to'. Yup, that can pretty well
> sum things up sometimes :-)
>
> I also want to thank you Lynn, this is an excellent and very informative
> missal; I enjoyed it marvellously much.
>
> dingaling deb
>
> Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
>
> "René" <My.Pencil@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> news:jIuxf.723853$xm3.597161@xxxxxxxxxxxx
> > Lynn,
> >
> > Thanks so much for posting this. I'm saving it to keep on hand when I
> > need it. And I'm not snipping anything, because if someone misses your
> > post, perhaps they'll see mine and realize that it's great for all of
us.
> >
> > Many of you know that these past few years have been hell for me.
> > Everytime I try to pinpoint exactly when my world collapsed, I can't do
> > it, because things snowballed, year after year, until it became so big
> > that it knocked me down and I couldn't get up again.
> >
> > A few weeks ago, I was just surfing and came across a site that I used
to
> > visit before we moved to Iowa. It's a bunch of tests you can take --
> > personality kinds of tests. I used to breeze through them and come away
> > thinking, "I'm still OK." But the last time I took those tests, I think
> > it was a turning point for me. Having it down "in black and white," it
> > stared back at me and made me totally acknowledge how much I had
changed.
> > I don't like the person I am now, but I know I can change some of that.
> > I've met other tough times in my life and got through them all with my
> > sanity, emotions, and spirit relatively intact. I know I've changed,
but
> > it's because I've had to. If I hadn't changed, I'd be a quivering mass
> > of nothingness. It's in my spirit to survive -- it just seemed to go
all
> > to hell at once and I needed to have a nervous breakdown to protect
> > myself.
> >
> > This article touched upon nearly every emotion I've had. And it
reminded
> > me that these emotions don't rule my life if I don't let them.
> >
> > So many of us here have gone through "hell and high water," and
survived.
> > (God bless all you Katrina survivors!)
> >
> > Love ya!
> >
> > René
> >
> >
> >
> > "lightlady" <me@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
> > news:42n6a4F1jsmhrU1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> >>
> >> http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/PN/00013.html
> >> Chronic pain: Managing your emotions
> >> From MayoClinic.com
> >> Special to CNN.com
> >>
> >> When chronic pain intrudes on your life, you may feel overwhelmed by
> >> intense
> >> emotions. Panic, grief and anger are just a sampling. Like the pain
that
> >> spawns them, these emotions can linger and transform you into a
different
> >> person. A person you don't like. A person no one likes.
> >>
> >> When you see that your own words and actions convey anger and
bitterness,
> >> your sense of self-worth takes a plunge, and your relationships suffer
as
> >> well. Your strong, negative emotions also can produce changes in your
> >> body
> >> that sap your energy and intensify your pain. Your pain and unhappiness
> >> also
> >> may trigger cycles of difficult emotions and dysfunctional behavior in
> >> those
> >> around you.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Now the good news. There are healthy ways to deal with your inevitable
> >> and
> >> understandable negative emotions. If you take advantage of these
> >> techniques,
> >> you not only will improve your relationships, but also may become more
> >> effective at managing your pain.
> >>
> >>
> >> Admit your loss
> >>
> >> For many people, the first step in dealing with negative feelings is to
> >> admit that the feelings exist. That's very difficult for some people to
> >> do,
> >> especially in a culture that often praises the optimist and criticizes
> >> the
> >> complainer.
> >>
> >> If you're grappling with chronic pain, one of the earliest and most
> >> wrenching emotions you experience is a deep sense of loss. You may
miss:
> >>
> >> The healthy person you once were
> >> Your independence
> >> Your privacy
> >> Job satisfaction
> >> An enjoyable hobby
> >> Sexual intimacy
> >> Untroubled family relationships
> >> Gatherings with friends
> >> Feelings of energy and confidence
> >> A sense of happiness
> >> These are difficult losses. You may feel as if nearly everything
precious
> >> to
> >> you has vanished. Your natural response is to grieve. Grieving can
> >> trigger
> >> various feelings. Even within a single day you may experience several
> >> different emotions.
> >>
> >> Many people respond to chronic pain with the same feelings that
typically
> >> accompany the loss of a loved one:
> >>
> >> Denial. You may deny that pain is an unavoidable part of your life. You
> >> continually seek a cure or quick fix, even though you've been told your
> >> pain
> >> is incurable or requires a long-term program of rehabilitation.
> >> Anger or frustration. You've tried numerous ways to control your pain
and
> >> nothing seems to be working. You find yourself more irritable more
often.
> >> You get upset when others don't seem to understand what you're going
> >> through.
> >> Depression. You become overwhelmed by feelings of sadness,
worthlessness
> >> and
> >> helplessness. You don't feel like doing anything, and you have
difficulty
> >> concentrating. You withdraw from others.
> >> Guilt and shame. You sense you're not the person you used to be. You
feel
> >> that you're somehow failing those who are closest to you.
> >> Acceptance. You stop focusing on things you can't change and begin to
> >> look
> >> to the future. You accept that your pain is a part of your life.
> >> You may come to terms with your pain more easily if you:
> >>
> >> Recognize your losses as serious. Don't trivialize them.
> >> Admit your feelings to yourself and others - to supportive family
members
> >> and friends, as well as to your doctor. Acknowledging and talking about
> >> your
> >> feelings is the first step toward emotional health.
> >> Give yourself time for emotional healing, and ask your doctor, a
> >> counselor
> >> or a therapist for advice and help.
> >>
> >> Manage your anger
> >>
> >> Unrelenting pain, interrupted sleep, unsuccessful treatments, job woes
> >> and
> >> insurance battles - a lot of things can make you angry, especially when
> >> you're in pain. But it's unhealthy to stay angry, bottle up your anger
or
> >> express it with explosive outbursts.
> >>
> >> Mismanaged anger can hurt you in many ways. Whether it's short-term and
> >> intense or lingering and subdued, anger causes your body to release
> >> chemicals that can lead to headaches, backaches, high blood pressure,
> >> irritable bowel syndrome and other health problems. Anger can also
> >> influence
> >> your pain. It typically produces muscle tension, making it difficult to
> >> relax.
> >>
> >> Here are some ideas to help you manage your anger:
> >>
> >> Identify your anger triggers. If, for example, a visiting friend
> >> generally
> >> manages to upset you, knowing this ahead of time can help you prepare
for
> >> the next visit. Think about discussion topics that spark your anger and
> >> practice what to say to defuse the situation. For example, if your
friend
> >> starts to bring up a past dispute, you might respond by saying, "Oh,
> >> we've
> >> discussed that before. Certainly we've got more interesting things to
> >> talk
> >> about."
> >> Identify symptoms of emerging anger. What do you do when you start to
get
> >> angry? Do you clench your teeth? Do your neck and shoulders begin to
> >> tense
> >> up? Read these symptoms like a caution light - a warning that you're
> >> getting
> >> angry.
> >> Respond appropriately to your symptoms. When you find yourself becoming
> >> angry, take a short timeout. Count to 10, take a few deep breaths, look
> >> out
> >> a window - anything to buy time so that your brain can catch up with
your
> >> emotions, and you can think before you act.
> >> Give yourself time to cool down. Before you confront the person who's
> >> made
> >> you angry, find a way to release some of your emotional energy. Go for
a
> >> walk, listen to music or clean the house.
> >> Don't bottle up your anger. If your anger stems from what someone did
or
> >> said, talk directly to that person. Don't verbally attack the person
with
> >> accusations and a history of how this person has angered you in the
past.
> >> Deal only with this episode, and approach it from the perspective of
how
> >> you
> >> feel instead of what the person did. For example, try a statement like
> >> this:
> >> "I feel hurt by what you said." That way, you're more likely to find a
> >> receptive listener than if you launched a blame-offensive statement,
such
> >> as: "You insulted me for the 20th time today!"
> >> Find release valves. Look for creative ways to release the energy
> >> produced
> >> by your anger. These might include listening to music, painting or
> >> writing
> >> in your journal.
> >> Seek advice. If anger-provoking situations continue, confide in people
> >> who
> >> care about you, such as family members or friends. Ask them to help you
> >> brainstorm possible solutions. You might even try role-playing scenes
> >> that
> >> spark your anger so that you can practice a healthy response.
> >> You can't keep yourself from getting angry, but you can manage your
anger
> >> so
> >> that it doesn't become an ongoing problem that aggravates your pain.
> >>
> >>
> >> Practice positive thinking
> >>
> >> To help yourself cope with the upsetting emotions that chronic pain can
> >> produce, try positive self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of
> >> thoughts
> >> that run through your head every day. Some people refer to this process
> >> as
> >> automatic thinking.
> >>
> >> Your automatic thoughts may be positive or negative. Some are based on
> >> logic
> >> and reason. Others may be misconceptions that you formulate from lack
of
> >> adequate information. The goal of positive self-talk is to weed out the
> >> misconceptions and challenge them with rational and positive thoughts.
> >>
> >> Here are some common forms of irrational thinking. Try to identify and
> >> challenge these types of thoughts:
> >>
> >> Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter
out
> >> all of the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You
> >> completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a
> >> speedy
> >> and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you
focus
> >> only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.
> >> Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically think that
> >> you're to blame. For example, you hear that a family picnic has been
> >> canceled and you start thinking that the change in plans is because no
> >> one
> >> wanted to be around you.
> >> Generalizing. You see a troubling event as the beginning of an unending
> >> cycle. When your pain fails to go away, your thoughts may proceed as
> >> follows: "I'll never be able to do what I used to." "I'm a burden to
> >> everyone around me." "I'm worthless."
> >> Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. You refuse to
go
> >> out with friends for fear your pain will act up and you'll make a fool
of
> >> yourself. Or one change in your daily routine leads you to think the
day
> >> will be a disaster.
> >> Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad. There's no
middle
> >> ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or you're a failure.
> >> Emotionalizing. With this type of distorted thinking, you allow your
> >> feelings to control your judgment. If you feel stupid and boring, then
> >> you
> >> must be stupid and boring.
> >> You can learn positive self-talk. The process is simple, but it takes
> >> time
> >> and practice. Throughout the day, stop and evaluate what you're
thinking.
> >> And find a way to put a positive spin on your negative thoughts. Start
by
> >> following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you
> >> wouldn't
> >> say to someone else. Be gentle and encouraging. If a negative thought
> >> enters
> >> your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what
> >> is
> >> good about yourself.
> >>
> >> Eventually, your self-talk will automatically contain less
self-criticism
> >> and more self-acceptance. Your spontaneous thoughts will become more
> >> positive and rational.
> >>
> >>
> >> <snip >
> >> Boost your self-esteem
> >>
> >> Here are some ways to redirect your thoughts when you start getting
down
> >> on
> >> yourself:
> >>
> >> Structure your day with goals you can meet. When the day is done,
you'll
> >> feel a sense of accomplishment.
> >> Talk with a friend. Having someone who's willing to take time to listen
> >> to
> >> you lets you know that you're valued.
> >> Spend time with others. It will make you feel more connected and less
> >> alone.
> >> Help someone. It reminds you that your life makes a difference.
> >> Treat yourself to something you enjoy. This might be some new music, a
> >> great
> >> book or a scoop of gourmet ice cream. Just as you buy gifts for others
> >> who
> >> are feeling blue, you need to do the same for yourself.
> >> Spruce up your appearance. Try a different hairstyle. Buy some new
> >> clothes.
> >> The better you look, the better you feel about yourself.
> >> List reasons people like you. It reminds you that you have special
> >> qualities
> >> people enjoy.
> >> List things you do well. Then do one of them.
> >> Living with chronic pain can take a toll on your mood, outlook,
> >> relationships and self-image. It may take a struggle, but if you can
> >> manage
> >> your anger, practice positive thinking, challenge your expectations and
> >> assert yourself, you'll find renewed joy and purpose in life.
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> --
> >> lynn
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >
> >
>
>


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: pain and emotions
    ... > me that these emotions don't rule my life if I don't let them. ... >> When chronic pain intrudes on your life, ... grief and anger are just a sampling. ... >> admit that the feelings exist. ...
    (alt.med.fibromyalgia)
  • Re: pain and emotions
    ... that these emotions don't rule my life if I don't let them. ... > When chronic pain intrudes on your life, ... grief and anger are just a sampling. ... > admit that the feelings exist. ...
    (alt.med.fibromyalgia)
  • Re: pain and emotions
    ... > that these emotions don't rule my life if I don't let them. ... >> When chronic pain intrudes on your life, ... grief and anger are just a sampling. ... >> admit that the feelings exist. ...
    (alt.med.fibromyalgia)
  • Re: Pain & anger
    ... >Chronic pain: Managing your emotions ... >When chronic pain intrudes on your life, you may feel overwhelmed by intense ... grief and anger are just a sampling. ... >admit that the feelings exist. ...
    (alt.support.chronic-pain)
  • Pain & anger
    ... Chronic pain: Managing your emotions ... When chronic pain intrudes on your life, you may feel overwhelmed by intense ... grief and anger are just a sampling. ... the first step in dealing with negative feelings is to ...
    (alt.support.chronic-pain)