Re: The Night Before Christamas

Fettucini@xxxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
The following poem was submitted to my Dulledge blog.Keeping with the
spirit of the season, I thought I should share it.

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The Night Before Christmas

by Richard Tater

'Twas the day before Christmas when I dropped by the shop
To change out a part I was running for 10 grand a pop.

I lowered the blank by the jib crane with care
Another minute or two and I'd soon be out of there.

The blank was clamped all snug to the bed,
While visions of profits danced in my head
And I changed out the chip barrel quick as a snap
Then was about to give the green button a tap,
When out by the dumpster there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my mill to see what was the matter.

Away to the loading dock I flew like a flash
I tore open the door and looked toward the trash.

The winter's sun hung in the sky so low
That it gave a harsh glare to the objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But a beat up old Saab and a disheveled little queer,
With a greasy shirtsleeve he wiped his infected honker,
I knew in a moment it must be Jonny Bonker.

More rapid than eagles his curses they came,
And he muttered and nuttered and dropped name after name.
Now, Mastercam, now BobCrap, and Featurecam are all ***,
But HSM works, with my brilliant help, will be a big hit.
Bill Gibbs is a ***, Tom Brewer's mother's a whore!
After I scavenge this dumpster I'm, gonna make war!

As cut chips before an air gun do fly,
When they meet with an object they mount to the sky.
So up to the dumpster-top the curser he flew,
To search for pizza crusts and demo disks amid all the goo

And then in a twinkling, I heard from the junk;
"Goddamn John Carroll is a worthless old drunk!"
I needed a weapon and was turning around,
when up from the refuse Jon leapt with a bound.

He was dressed in a uniform and from what I could tell
the king of CAD/CAM is an employee of Taco Bell!
A garbage bag from the cafeteria he had flung across his back,
And he looked like a peddler opening his pack.

His eyes - how they sparkled, his find made him merry!
His teeth were like tombstones, his nose a rotten cherry.
His foul little mouth was like that of a toad,
he had a complexion like five miles of bad road.

The stump of a pizza crust he clenched tight in his teeth,
while the stench of homelessness encircled him like a wreath.
He had a drawn face with boils full of pus,
that oozed green liquid as he started to fuss.
He looked crazy insane, his normal old self,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And filled his briefcase with his pickings, then he turned with a
jerk.
And laying a finger well up in his nose,
Then gave it a lick while up from his knees he rose.

He sprang to the Saab which wheezed to life with a whistle
And away he flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight

"Wait until WESTEC all, where there will be a big fight!"

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Merry Christmas!

--

Mah name is *** 'Tater and Ah aprove uh this message.
Merry Christmas to all and to All a Good Night.


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