Re: again.. sigh: The mysterious world of "trolls"
- From: "the swisswatchguy" <swisswatchguy@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 3 Oct 2005 07:58:15 -0700
?@?.? wrote:
> An open letter to the internet from Trolls United Against Defamation:
>
> First an introduction - what I'd like to talk about are "Trolls" - we've
> been much maligned over the years but we've decided to come out from under
> our 'bridges' and once again take our rightful place in society.
>
> Many of you older readers may remember the friendly little man who lived
> under the courthouse steps in your home town, he was a well-liked and
> respected member of the community, your parents approved of his occupation
> and understood that "it was a tough job, but someone had to do it". In
> small town America in the '50s no one questioned the valuable place your
> local trolls played in society.
>
> Readers who grew up in the '60s may remember being distraught by Oppie's
> special friend Max's sudden disappearance from Mayberry after the actor
> who played him was blacklisted following the McCarthy hearings.
>
> Let me try and explain the whole sordid story as briefly as possible.
> It all started with what we trolls commonly refer to as "that goat incident".
> Back in the spring of 1964 there were wild press reports from Eastern Europe
> about a poor hungry troll eating some goats who woke him up while sleeping
> under a bridge - naturally the press blew it way out of proportion, someone
> noticed that not only were there trolls behind the iron curtain, but here
> in the US too - Joe McCarthy (a lawyer!) came out of retirement and started
> up 'HURT' the 'House Unamerican Reaction to Trolls' - Trolls were subpoenaed,
> question, publicly vilified and driven from their occupations all across
> the country, in the south trolls were driven from town by the KKK on horseback.
> Those trolls whom survived moved to the wilder parts of the country to hide
> out, some even moved north to Canada.
>
> At the time our knowledge of ecology and ecosystems was not great enough
> for anybody to predict the horrible results this would cause. As the
> Soviets were finding out by the '60s if you take away it's usual prey a
> predator will turn elsewhere. They banned lawyers in most communist
> countries, which of course explains the plight of that poor hungry troll
> under that bridge that started this whole mess.
>
> After banning Trolls the US is now suffering from a most horrible scourge.
> Just like removing the wolves from Yellowstone resulted in Elk herds that
> multiplied out of control and devastated the grazing for all other species,
> taking your local troll out from his usual place below the courthouse steps
> has resulted in lawyers multiplying completely out of control with dire
> consequences to all parts of society.
>
> We intend to once again become the respected useful members of society
> our parents and grandparents were. And after much soul-searching we
> realized that we would need good legal council. As you might imagine
> this was hard to come by, so we decided that we needed to train some of
> our own people in the law. I, and my colleagues, worked our way through
> law school, it was hard, we suffered under much discrimination from
> the faculty, we spent long nights suffering working through the law
> books, and days resisting temptation in class. In the end we graduated
> top of our class - in fact in that year we were the only ones who
> surv^H^H^H^Hgraduated.
>
> We moved into private practice as "Troll, Troll, Troll and Bandicoot"
> mostly doing civil rights law for other trolls. Recently you may have
> heard of the very substantial out of court settlement we received from
> the Tolkien estate in our libel case. We intend to use this money to
> fund future legal work for our clients.
>
> Which brings me to the main purpose of this letter .... it has come to
> our attention that some people on the internet have been using the name
> 'troll' in a negative, derogatory manner. This must stop immediately.
> Along with our co-litigants the Spam Industry Council we are today
> serving a class action suit, on behalf of all trolls everywhere, on
> all people who have participated in the practice of 'trolling'.
>
> We were lucky that the law firm of Canter&Siegel after some initial
> reluctance were yum^H^H^H able to help us in searching the Usenet
> archives to discover the perpetrators and to electronically serve all
> those who were found responsible.
>
> I hope that this will be the end of this matter.
>
> Thank you for your attention
>
>
> Timothy T. Troll
> Attorney at Law
> Troll, Troll, Troll, and Bandicoot
Appreciating your contribution, actually the second one within a few
months if I remember well. We shall try at best to heed your advice,
where and when advisable, and refrain from hiring your counsel.
Thank you for visiting and wishing you a nice trolling back home to
your own.
.
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