Celebrate our freedoms, this 4th of July

As we go out to celebrate our freedom this 4th
of July, let's go over a few things to make your
celebration a success.

First, the holiday is called the 4th of July, not
Independance Day. We don't want you to think
that we are independant, much less free.

Before leaving home make sure you check the
color coded Homeland Security alert status.
Be especially careful if it is orange or red.
Don't worry about yellow. It's always yellow.

Be aware of your surroundings at all times.
New Yorkers, in particular, watch out for those
pesky mushroom clouds.

Don't use any illegal fireworks in your 4th
Celebration. It is for your own safety. And
the founding father's implemented a government
to protect you from yourselves. Didn't they?
Besides, fireworks are explosive devices and
you might be considered a terrorist with weapons
of mass destruction. And although the government
can't find any in Iraq, you can rest assured they
will find them in your car trunk. But don't worry,
getting arrested, imprisoned indefinitely without
formal charges, and a 5 year wait before the
secret tribunal trial per the Patriot Act is a
breeze. It's that secret summary execution that
should make you nervous.

Make sure you are buckled up in your seat belts,
there will be roadblocks and checkpoints to make
sure you comply. It is for the children. Smile at
the officers, when they ask you probing questions,
designed to make you admit to guilt.

If you are an airline employee, lighten up for the
holiday, you can always look for a job tomorrow.
Maybe you could transfer over to a TSA job.
Big demand for those jobs and you don't have to
be smart.

If you are a Haliburton employee, celebrate, you
probably have a raise coming from the Iraqi
contract windfall.

If celebrating on any public property, make no
mention or relgious ideals. Government is god,
there. You will be apprehended.

Have your papers ready as you approach the
holiday police checkpoints.

Don't criticize the President or other government
officials, you might be in violation of the
Patriot Act and considered a possible terrorist.

Be grateful that President Obama has taken over
the banks. After all, you wouldn't want another
Great Depression. Be sure to write your Nations
Leaders, and thank them for the stimulus spending.
It doesn't matter that you're unemployed. It could
be much worse.

Don't mention the Constitution in any district
court or you could be held in contempt.

If your children get out of line this holiday,
do not discipline them, or they may be kidnapped
by the Dept. of Social Services and held hostage
until you receive approved psychological therapy
and are deemed acceptable.

Show compassion this Independence Day by
inviting an illegal immigrant, I mean, undocumented
worker, to your celebration or by hugging a tree.

If an election is occurring in your locality
within the next 90 days, do not talk about or
publicly support any candidate, as that is no
longer lawful. Keep your mouth shut.

If an officer asks to search your vehicle at the
"seat belt" checks, do not be belligerent and
demand a search warrant. Standing up for your
fourth amendment rights is anti-social and not
in tune with the new American way. Are you
with Al Quada or something?

Do not get upset when the searching officer will
not help you pick up your belongings that he has
strewn all over the highway as he searched your
vehicle. It is not in his job description and
complaining will get you charged with obstructing

Keep your guns at home. You are not going hunting
and besides, What on earth do guns have to do with
American Independence? Better yet, turn your guns
into the authorities to let them know that you are
a true patriotic American.

Better yet, just STAY at home. BUT do not assume
that you are safe, because you are at home. If a
government bureaucrat shows up at your home, he
will probably be flashing a badge at you. This makes
him look like a constitutional law enforcement officer.
He may even be armed. Do not ask to see a warrant,
and then tell him to leave if he does not have one.
They will put a siege around your house. If you do
not come out soon enough, they may invade, with
guns drawn, or even set your house on fire. It's for
the common good, you realize?

For more information, do a search using keywords
like "Symbionese Liberation Army", "Philadelphia
MOVE group", "Gordon Kahl", "The Order", "Robert
Matthews", "Covenant of the Sword and Arm of the
Lord", "Randy Weaver" , "Branch Davidian", or
"Elian Gonzalez".

If you are counting on you congressman to protect
you, understand that the average congressman is
ALSO afraid to resist. For more information, do a
search using keywords like "George Hanson" ,
"James Trafficant" or "Larry McDonald".

If celebrating at the mall in Washington DC. you
are probably safe as the mall is now monitored by
hundreds of surveillance cameras, watched by
federal security forces. Don't do anything that
you wouldn't want them to see. If you are mugged,
just call 911, and they will have a police officer
there in 45 minutes to an hour. Allow the officer
to search you and all your bags for evidence of the
crime, that will help them to find the muggers.

Bring lots of cash with you, there will be many
taxes, fines, and fees to pay as you celebrate
your freedoms this day.

Do not leave home without your driver's license,
social security card, birth certificate, welfare
card, medicare card, medical records, W-2 Form,
and two others forms of ID. You may be asked for
them at the police checkpoints. Better yet, get
micro-chipped, and avoid the hassle of carrying
around your papers.

Bring your library card, the FBI may ask you for it.

Do not put any "anti-government" bumper stickers
on your car. Especially not anything about the right
to keep and bear arms. Police have been trained by
the FBI in "bumper sticker profiling". This attracts
their attention at the check points, and makes you
look like a terrorist.

With regard to "bumper sticker profiling" you should
be especially aware of the fact that "They will get my
gun, when they pry it from my cold dead fingers" is
no longer mere semantics. At WACO, and at RUBY
RIDGE, we learned that they WILL kill you to take
your guns

Be extra thankful for the government bailout of
General Motors. We wouldn't want the nation's auto
manufacturers to go out of business. Even if
unemployment is at record highs, at least President
Obama cares. Change you can believe in.

ALSO, be careful not to have any unauthorized
THOUGHTS. There are now serious penalties for
"thought crime". Be aware that "civil forfeiture"
laws make it possible to take anything that you
own, by alleging that it was "intended" to be used
for the commission of a crime. This could include
transporting or storing a gun. If "civil forfeiture"
proceedings are initiated against you, then you will
have the burden of proof, to show that your thoughts
were in compliance with government standards.

If traveling by air this Independence Day, I mean
4th of July, do not give the airport screeners a hard
time. They are feeling you up and molesting your
daughter and wife for the security of America.
If you complain you could be arrested. You
don't support Bin Laden do you?

Keep an eye on your fellow Americans as you
celebrate this 4th of July. If you see any thing
supicious, take notes so that when you get home
you can call and report them to the Homeland
Security Office. And remember you are not a
nosey snitch, you are a great American Patriot.

Do not mention the signers of the Declaration
of Independence this 4th of July. Mentioning
these white subversive terrorists is not
popular and could get you in big trouble.
Besides what do these guys have to do with
the 4th of July anyway?

Do not leave home without one or more little
plastic American flags made by political slaves
in Communist China. Make sure you have one
flying from the antennae of your vehicle. You
don't want to seem un-American do you?

Do not take a copy of the Declaration of Inde-
pendence with you as it advocates the over-
throw of tyrannical government. It is a
terrorist document and will be confiscated
at the holiday police checkpoints. Same
advice for the Constitution.

And remember, as you leave home for your 4th
of July outing, that the second you stepped out
of your door that you probably broke hundreds
of federal, state, and local laws that you are
probably unaware of. However, if you toe the
line, you will not be charged.

Don't even think about taxes on this great day.
The 50 per cent government confiscation of your
income at the threat of imprisonment or at the
point of a gun should not even cross your mind
as you revel in your freedom. After all, April
15th is a long way off.

And whatever you do, do not let on that you
really know that true freedom died a long time
ago in America, just have fun for the day and
then go home and stick your head back in the
sand and pretend America is not becoming a
socialist police state.

Now go out there and celebrate your freedom
and liberty and have a great sanitized,
politically correct, and government approved
and authorized Independence Day!

If you have a few decades with nothing better
to do, study up on "administrative law". Laws
are now made by the unelected bureaucrats, in
hundreds of "administrative agencies". If you
are charged with violating one of these "laws"
you will not get a trial by a jury of your
peers. You will be tried by the agency that
made the charge.

I hope this message gets past the Department
of Homeland security approved internet filter.
How else can they protect us from unauthorized

Now go out and celebrate your independence and
have a great 4th of July!


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