You may be a Fleabagger if...
- From: Lord Valve <detritus@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 09 Dec 2011 08:28:19 -0700
Many folks know that the "Tea" in "Tea Party" is an acronym -
it stands for "Taxed Enough Already." Few people know how
the Flea Party was named; that particular genesis is also
acronymic: "Fuckhead Leftists Encouraging Anarchy."
In case any of the AGAtards are having trouble figuring
out whether they're Fleabaggers or not - and after all,
given the general intelligence level of AGAtards, that's
a fairly safe assumption - here's a short list of the
primary telltales which may provide a clue or two:
You May Be A Fleabagger If:
1. You moved to a tent in Zuccotti Park because you always
wanted a nicer place to live.
2. You quit your "job" to attend the protests, but your
mother continues your allowance and now does the dishes.
3. You are confused that you can't find the Wal-Mart on
Wall Street.
4. You are enraged that the taxpayers had to bail out Wall
Street even though you?ve never paid taxes and don't
know anyone who has.
5. You hate capitalism but expect a capitalist to provide
you with a good paying job and great benefits.
6. You think Socialism has something to do with Facebook,
and Capitalism has to do with Washington, DC.
7. You demand a job, forgetting that you were fired for not
doing the one you had.
8. You despise the rich even though they pay your share of
taxes.
9. You're a little behind in your rent because your drug
dealer insisted on cash.
10. You are very clear in your protest objectives:
-- "Fuck the USA!"
-- "Save the ______ (fill in the blanks - whales, spotted
owls, polar bears...)"
-- "Self-realization is the first step toward self-
actualization"
-- "Down with, uh, like *everything*, dood!"
11. You think 99 weeks of unemployment is the least the
government should give you for the 3 months you put in
at McDonalds.
12. You drove a Toyota to the protest, you're plugged in to
a Sony Walkman, talk over a Samsung phone, and play a
Yamaha keyboard through a Chinese amp in a punk band,
but you are incensed over jobs being outsourced to other
countries.
13. You demand your rights, but can't quite recall where
they are enumerated.
14. You believe you have a right to every penny earned,
but the rich do not, and you base your claim on equality.
15. You believe a man is greedy if he worked his way up to CEO
on 16-hour days, runs a company employing thousands, and
made $10 million last year, but is not greedy if he made
$50 million last year for making two motion pictures or
shooting a ball through a hoop.
16. You are convinced the "system" is holding you back from
gaining wealth, status, and position. Dropping out of high
school, dulling your mind with crack and MJ, a few arrests
on your record, and stealing from your employer had nothing
to do with it.
17. You left behind trash, shit, piss-soaked sod, discarded
clothing, and used condoms after your "Save the Environment"
protest rally.
18. You know you're not a Socialist because you stick pretty
much to yourself at parties.
19. You want to improve the environment and you have the
tattoos and piercings to prove it.
20. You don't pay taxes, but somehow that's more than your
"fair share".
21. You hate the rich, but hope you win the lottery.
22. You haven't bathed in over a month, but demand to be taken
seriously.
23. From the looks of it, "greening" the environment means
starting with your teeth.
24. You know your cause is just - because Nancy Pelosi
admires you.
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Got guns?
Lord Valve
American - so far
..
.
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