Letter to 'Lord Valve'

First, I'd like to acknowledge your tireless crusade for Truth in
Advertising. You have a difficult road ahead of you, with reports to
deliver on email exchanges with hundreds of audio charlatans. I'm sure
everyone realizes that your crusade against Mogami is a pursuit of an
altruistic ideal, and not just vindictive sniffing of Mulay's butt.

The public, after all, deserves to be protected against overblown
exaggerations. With this in mind, I wonder if you will be changing
your moniker to something less grandiose, and more in gear with the
true extent of your electronics knowledge. I was initially thinking
Earl of Tubes, but even that sounds overly ostentatious. Perhaps
the Duke of Denver? I'm sure everyone will appreciate that.

After the pretentious "Lord Valve, Expert" is consigned to the false
advertising heap along with "Magic Audio Stones" and other nonsense,
you will need a new sig. I was thinking that a more realistic promo
may look something like:

Marquis de Coondog
Knows Derrick Trucks!

or perhaps combine with one of your own odd constructions:

Butler of Bullshit
"People you have to pay to see have me on speed dial."

I dunno, that sounds a bit flustered. Of course the final choice is
up to you. Just don't get carried away again. Thanks!
.