The four managers of the Apocalypse: Dilbert, Wally, Alice and Dogbert.


http://www.dilbert.com/

Andre Jute wrote:

Andre Jute wrote:
"PS Not to forget among Africa's woes the starvation and deaths of many

caused by out of control environmentalists. Remember DDT, a cheap and
effective insecticide for crops? The green creepies had it banned on no

evidence whatsoever--there was never a single proven death by cancer
linked to DDT and after DDT was banned cancer death rates did not
decline a single unit. Perhaps as many as millions of poor people who
used to spray their crops with DDT died of hunger because of arrogant,
unaccountable green pressure groups bullied governments into banning an

innocent, effective, cheap insecticide. -- Andre Jute"

Chris Hornbeck replied: 
On 30 Sep 2005 01:16:08 -0700, "Andre Jute" <fiultra@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

The green creepies
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051001/ap_on_sc/cycle_of_disaster 

which turns out to be an article starting with this paragraph entirely
unjustified by the rest of the article, as I shall shortly prove:
"Experts: Future of Big Hurricanes Looms // By JOSEPH B. VERRENGIA,
Associated Press Writer
Sat Oct 1, 4:06 PM ET//Have we seen America's future through the eyes
of hurricanes Katrina and Rita? Monster storms drowning cities and
obliterating coastlines. Jobs vanishing and prices rising as ports and
pipelines close. Millions fleeing, but many are trapped and die. Chaos
reigns, paralyzing government and leaving the world's wealthiest
society humbled and frightened."

The article is in full below for connoiseurs of unsupported,
unscientific scare stories, just like the unsupported DDT scare story
by which hysterically uncontrolled green creepies of the human
environtmentalist breed and green creepy insects no longer controlled
by DDT (at the behest of the human green creepies), killed millions
particularly nastily by starvation in Africa. I assume Chris cut my
quote back to my contempt to hide who I am contemptuous of:
uncontrolled, unsupervised, unregulated, immoral pressure groups
running riot, stroked by "scientists" who put therir "feelings" above
the facts and stoked up by "reporters" who love a good opening par
above the facts. (Were it not that I suspect some desk sub-editor wrote
that despicable opening par, I would have a few words to say about Mr
Verrengia too, but for now we need to give him the benefit of the
doubt.)


Chris Hornbeck 

HERE'S THE ARTICLE CHRIS FINDS SO MEANINGFUL THAT HE TRIES TO USE IT TO
JUSTIFY THE MURDER OF MILLIONS OF AFRICANS BY ENVIRONMENTAL PRESSURE
GROUPS. MY COMMENTS ARE IN CAPITALS, WITH APOLOGIES FOR EVEN THE
APPEARANCE OF SHOUTING, TO DISTINGUISH THEM FROM THE ARTICLE I'M
COMMENTING ON.

Experts: Future of Big Hurricanes Looms

THEY ALWAYS DO. AMERICANS HAVE JUST HAD A SHORT REPRIEVE. BEFORE
HURRICANES THE SCARE STORY WAS EL NINO. HEAR ABOUT THAT LATELY?

By JOSEPH B. VERRENGIA, Associated Press Writer
Sat Oct 1, 4:06 PM ET

Have we seen America's future through the eyes of hurricanes Katrina
and Rita? Monster storms drowning cities and obliterating coastlines.
Jobs vanishing and prices rising as ports and pipelines close. Millions
fleeing, but many are trapped and die. Chaos reigns, paralyzing
government and leaving the world's wealthiest society humbled and
frightened.

THIS FRIGHTENING LEAD PARAGRAPH IS NOWHERE IN THE ARTICLE JUSTIFIED. IN
FACT, IT IS VISIBLY A LIE AS WE CAN SEE THE UNITED STATES CONTINUING
WITH BUSINESS AS USUAL.

Natural disaster in the United States has morphed to a dangerous new
level. Some experts say the nation can expect to be pummeled by more of
these mega-catastrophes over the next 20 or 30 years in a nasty
conspiracy of unfavorable weather patterns, changing demographics and
political denial.


MORPHED, EH? BRING ME THE "EXPERT" WHO USED THAT WORD AND I WILL
PUBLICLY IMPUGN HIS CREDENTIALS, HIS SINCERITY AND HIS HONESTY, AND
DARE HIM TO SUE.

THEN IT GETS WORSE. VERRENGIA, IF HE HAS A JOB AT AP, IS FAR TOO
SOPHISTICATED ACTUALLY TO BELIEVE THIS CRAP. SO HIS (OR HIS
SUB-EDITOR'S) CHOICE OF THE UNJUSTIFIED, EMOTIONALLY LOADED WORDS
"NASTY CONSPIRACY" ABOUT *THE WEATHER* IS CLEARLY INTENDED TO FRIGHTEN
WEAKMINDED TWERPS.

NEXT WE HAVE "EXPERTS" WHO WILL *NOT* BE TIED TO THIS PHRASE IN THE
REST OF THE ARTICLE (IF THEY DID, THEIR PROFESSIONAL BODIES WILL
DISCIPLINE THEM) NAMING THE TWO HURRICANES "MEGA-CATASTROPHES". THAT IS
MORE NEAR-HYSTERICAL LANGUAGE.

WORSE, IT'S *BIG NEWS* THAT IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN "OVER THE NEXT 20 OR
30 YEARS". SURE AS THE SUN WILL RISE TOMORROW, IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN
"OVER THE NEXT 20 OR 30 YEARS". NAME A SINGLE SEACOAST NOT SUBJECT TO
BAD WEATHER, EVEN EXTREME BAD WEATHER, IN ANY PERIOD OF 20 TO 30 YEARS.
NAME IT!

A month after Katrina and one week after Rita, it's not clear how the
United States will play the new hand that nature has apparently dealt.

WELL, GEE ***, A "NEW HAND"! HOW COME LEVEES WERE BUILT IF NO ONE KNEW
BEFORE THAT STORMS WERE COMING? HOW COME THE MILITARY FOR YEARS
PREDICTED THE LEVEES WERE NOT BIG ENOUGH IF WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT BIG
STORMS ARE OUT THERE? THERE'S NO NEW HAND HERE, IT IS THE SAME OLD
CYCLICAL WEATHER.

(NEXT VERRENGIA WILL TRY TO GIVE AS THE "HIDDEN HAND CONSPIRACY" AND
EXPOSE ADAM SMITH BEHIND IT.)

THE ORIGINAL SIN HERE IS BUILDING THE CITY BELOW WATER.

"Are we prepared to lose a major city every year?" asks Carnegie Mellon
University risk strategist Baruch Fischhoff. "It's cowardice not to ask
the question, and cowardice on the public's part not to get engaged in
the answer."

OF COURSE WE CAN ASK THE QUESTION. THE REPORTER PROMPTED HIM CAREFULLY
FOR THAT PARTICULAR ANSWER. NOTE WHAT THIS RISK STRATEGIST DOES *NOT*
SAY AND WILL NEVER IN A MILLION UNDER TORTURE BE MADE TO SAY. HE
DOESN'T SAY THAT WE WILL *LOSE* A CITY EVERY YEAR, OR EVEN EVERY FIVE
YEARS, OR EVEN EVERY CENTURY.

IN FACT, NEW ORLEANS ISN'T EVEN LOST. ATLANTIS WAS LOST. NEW ORLEANS
WAS DAMAGED, MAYBE EVEN WRECKED. BUT IN THE VERRENGIA VERSION, FACED
WITH A RISK STATISTICIAN, A REAL EXPERT WHO WILL NOT SAY A WORD MORE
THAN THAT WE SHOULD ALWAYS ASK QUESTIONS AND BE INVOLVED IN POLITICAL
DECISIONS, VERRENGIA PREDICTS THE APOCALYPSE.

"We failed quite significantly," says sociologist Havidan Rodriguez,
director of the Disaster Research Center at the University of Delaware.
"Will what we've seen over the last few weeks continue to be the case?
It could unless we prepare. People tend to forget lessons learned.
Governments tend to forget."

SO FEMA SCREWED UP. SO WHAT? IT'S A SIMPLE MANAGEMENT SOLUTION TO LEARN
FROM FAILURE. STILL NO APOCALYPSE. COME ON, COME ON, I GOT MY CAMERA
READY FOR A PICCIE OF THE FOUR HOURSEMEN. AND I WANNA POSE WITH THEM
TOO.

Others cautiously see some hope in the waterlogged ruins of the Gulf
Coast. They describe the latest hurricanes as a turning point that
could lead to improved public safety and infrastructure.

LIKE I SAID, A WAKEUP CALL BUT NO NEED TO START WEARING SACKCLOTH AND
RUN AROUND HYSTERICALLY LOOKING FOR ASHES TO RUB IN OUR HAIR. WE CAN
SAFELY LEAVE HYSTERIA TO THE GREEN CREEPIES.

"We often need events like this to change the mindset," said Mary C.
Comerio, an architect and reconstruction researcher at the University
of California-Berkeley. "And it's very hard to stop private investors
and entrepreneurs from seeking opportunity. It's an amazing part of the
American spirit."

YUP, IF PRIVATE INDUSTRY MAKES A BUCK, IT IS THE FAULT OF THE
GOVERNMENT FOR NOT STOPPING GLOBAL WARMING.

New Orleans and the Gulf Coast might even be a living laboratory for
sustainable development and commerce that can withstand future
calamities. For example, New Orleans' historic core might be reopened
for tourism, but neighborhoods could be rebuilt on safer, firmer ground
using more efficient 21st century technologies.

OR THEY COULD REDESIGN IT TO BE VENICE IN LOUISIANA (FOR NON-AMERICAN
READERS, THIS IS PRONOUNCED LOO-WEE-SEE-ANNA) COMPLETE WITH FAKE
ITALIAN FOOD WHICH AMERICANS ANYWAY DO BETTER THAN THE FAKE FRENCH
PROVINCIAL FOOD PREVIOUSLY ON OFFER IN NEW ORLEANS AND OTHER LOUISIANA
CITIES.

BUT THE SMART THING WOULD BE TO BUILD THE NEW CITY, IF IT IS REQUIRED
AT ALL, ELSEWHERE.

Link the two with a train, one expert suggested. Oh, and better make it
elevated.

GEE, ***, NOW THE "EXPERTS" TELL US. DID EVERYONE KEEP THEIR BRAINS
IN THEIR BACKSIDES UNTIL NOW (EXCEPT THE MILITARY ENGINEERS)?

"The first rule of sustainability is to align with natural forces, or
at least not try to defy them," said environmentalist Paul Hawken, a
leading voice in the green design and green commerce movements. "There
is no reason to go backwards in redesigning the city."

MORE PLATITUDES. HEY, CHRIS, YOU POSTED THIS PIECE OF FILLER. WHEN DO
WE GET TO THE BEEF, THE REFUTATION OF MY PROOF THAT THE
ENVIRONMENTALISTS HABITUALLY  LIE, GIVEN AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS
THREAD?

America's eastern and Gulf coasts always have been in the path of
powerful storms. The nation's weather history occasionally has been
splattered with other Category 4 and 5 hurricanes - the strongest,
largest storms, which pack the punch of hundreds of nuclear weapons and
have the most potential to devastate huge swaths of land.

A BIT OF COMMON SENSE. WE'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME FOR IT.

But since 1995, hurricanes have become more frequent and more intense.
Some scientists say the United States is on the bad side of a natural
storm cycle, while others notice the trend may coincide with the recent
increase in air and sea temperatures attributed to global warming.

CYCLICAL AND NATURAL, EH? WELL, OF COURSE IT IS. AS FOR "ATTRIBUTED TO
GLOBAL WARMING," I ATTRIBUTE MY CONTEMPT FOR THIS SORT OF THINKING, AND
THIS SORT OF SCARE JOURNALISM TO HAVING BEEN TAUGHT TO THINK STRAIGHT
AND WRITE THE FACTS.

NOTE THAT NO ONE WHO CAN BE DISCIPLINED BY A PROFESSIONAL BODY OR HAVE
HIS CREDENTIALS QUESTIONED IS WILLING TO SAY ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT
SOME OTHER PARTY, UNNAMED OF COURSE, IS "ATTRIBUTING" AS YET UNASSESSED
PUTATIVELY CONTRIBUTORY FACTORS ("RECENT INCREASES IN SEA AND AIR
TEMPERATURES")TO THE UNPROVEN BOGEYMAN "GLOBRAL WARMING". IT'S A HOUSE
OF CARDS, AND IT STAND ON EVER-SHIFTING ***.

Statistics show the planet to be increasingly unsafe. Globally, more
than 2.5 billion people were affected by floods, earthquakes,
hurricanes and other natural disasters between 1994 and 2003, a 60
percent increase over the previous two 10-year periods, U.N. officials
report.

NOTICE THE FIRM STATEMENT IN THE LEAD "STATISTICS SHOW THE PLANET TO BE
INCREASINGLY UNSAFE." IT'S AN OUTRIGHT LIE. THE IMPLICATION IS THAT IT
IS WEATHER AT FAULT. YOU WILL HAVE TO READ MANY, MANY PARAGRAPHS BEFORE
YOU DISCOVER THAT ALL THAT HAS CHANGED IS THAT MORE PEOPLE LIVE BESIDE
THE SEA, AND THAT THEY HAVE BECOME WEALTHIER.

IF VERRENGIA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THAT HIS STATEMENT IS A LIE, HE SHOULD
BE SENT FOR RETRAINING IN LOGIC.

Those numbers don't even include the millions displaced by last
December's tsunami, which killed an estimated 180,000 people.

THESE ARE CYCLICAL EVENTS IN THAT PART OF THE WORLD.

Damage to insured property around the world in 2004 by natural
disasters totaled $49 billion, according to the Zurich-based insurance
giant Swiss Re. And that figure doesn't include the tsunami, either. Of
the total, some calculations suggest that as much as $45 billion in
losses came from a quartet of Florida hurricanes - Charley, Ivan,
Frances and Jeanne.

The overall insured loss for 2004 is more than twice the $23 billion
annual average in property losses since 1987, confirming a "discernible
upward trend," Swiss Re said.

So what makes natural events potentially more disastrous now? The
weather might be changing for the worse. But the real difference is
demographics.

AT LAST WE GET SOME WATERED-DOWN VERSION OF THE TRUTH.

How and where Americans live today make the nation especially
vulnerable to these unstoppable events.

In the last several decades, the nation's population has migrated
toward the coasts, and the value of their possessions has increased
substantially.

More than half of the nation's 297 million people live in coastal
areas. Florida's population has increased fivefold since 1950, and now
80 percent live within 20 miles of salt water. According to the U.S.
Census Bureau, seven of the nation's top 10 fastest growing states are
coastal, including California, whose population has increased from 10
million in 1950 to more than 33 million today.

NOW HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH AN APOCALYPSE SPUN UP OUT OF WIND AND THE
NEED TO KEEP THE NEWS FLOWING, REGARDLESS OF LOGIC AND COMMON SENSE:

And it's not just coastal populations that are at risk. Infrastructure
supplies food, energy and materials nationwide like the body's
circulatory system distributes blood and nutrients. If the New Madrid
fault ruptures in the Midwest, the loss of key roads, railways, power
grids and pipelines over the Mississippi River would likely choke off
vital supplies to distant cities for months, including Washington, D.C.
and New York City.

NOTICE THAT VERRENGIA DOESN'T PRESENT US WITH AN "EXPERT" TO GIVE AN
OPINION. THAT'S BECAUSE NO REAL EXPERT IN HIS RIGHT MIND WILL FORECAST,
PREDICT OR EVEN SPECULATE ON "NATIONWIDE" INFRASTRUCTURE DAMAGE
DISRUPTING "BLOOD AND NUTRIENT" DISTRIBUTION. WHO DECIDED TO LET THIS
VERRENGIA WRITE ABOUT AN ESSENTIALLY SCIENTIFIC MATTER? WHAT WERE HIS
SUBEDITORS DOING, SCRATCHING THEIR BALLS?

The Federal Emergency Management Agency bases much of its planning on
100-year storm estimates that are decades old and don't always account
for today's more intense storms and increased urbanization.

And, experts warn, these future calamities don't even factor in larger
environmental influences that are lurking, like global warming.

"FUTURE CALAMITIES", EH? HEY, MR VERRENGIA, CAN I SPEAK TO YOUR
"EXPERTS".

HEY, MR VERRENGIA, SINCE YOU'RE SO CHUMMY WITH THEM, CAN YOU GET ME THE
AUTOGRAPHS OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE?

"In the decades to come, the equation will be completely different from
what it is now," said Robert Muir-Woods, London-based research director
for Risk Management Solutions, consultants to the insurance industry on
natural catastrophes and terrorist strikes. RMS estimates that insured
losses after Katrina and Rita have reached $70 billion thus far.

YAH, IT WILL SURELY BE DIFFERENT IN FUTURE. INFLATION ALONE WILL SEE TO
THAT, INCREASING WEALTH WILL MAKE THE PAYOUTS EVEN GREATER. BUT WHAT
ACTUALLY CAUSED THE BIGGEST INCREASE IN INSURANCE PREMIUMS IN THE LAST
CENTURY WAS NOT A NATURAL OR MANMADE DISASTER BUT THE REALIZATION OF
HOW VULNERABLE OUR PROPERTY AND LIVES ARE TO TERRORISM.

"So much of what you see in the United States now was built when
hurricane activity was low and there was a category 5 storm once every
30 years, not every year or two," Muir-Woods said. "Your investment
decisions need to be revisited."

HEY, VERRENGIA, WOULDN'T YOU SAY THAT A WITNESS WHO WORKS FOR RISK
MANAGEMENT SOLUTIONS IS SLIGHTLY SUSPECT? DID YOU ASK HIM HOW MANY
REASONS HE FOUND THIS WEEK FOR THE INDUSTRY HE SERVES TO PUT UP
PREMIUMS? DID YOU ASK HIM WHEN HE LAST FOUND A REASON TO REDUCE
PREMIUMS? OR ARE THE OPINIONS OF THOSE WITH VESTED COMMERCIAL INTERESTS
(WHOM YOU HAD TO GO TO LONDON TO FIND BECAUSE THE STATESIDE GUYS SAW
YOU COMING) NOW OF THE SAME VALUE AS THOSE OF EVEN THE "EXPERTS" SO
OBVIOUSLY SLITHERING AWAY FROM YOU IN A HURRY?

Other demographic changes not often associated with natural disasters
are an aging population, the growth of assisted living communities and
dependent-care facilities in warm-weather states and the increase in
immigrant populations where English is not widely understood. All of
which will make evacuations even more difficult, researchers say.

COME ON CHRIS, WHAT HAS THIS ENTIRE PIECE OF CARELESS CRAP TO DO WITH
THE FACT THAT ENVIRONMENTALISTS LIE, AND HAVE ALLIES IN THE PRESS,
UNLESS YOU ARE TRYING TO PROVE MY POINT?

"All of the plans have assumed that people have cars and they speak
English," Rodriguez said. "If you forget the population in your
planning, the population will ignore your plans."

SO A PLANNER NAPPED ON THE JOB. FIRE HIM, CHARGE HIM WITH NEGLIGENCE,
PERSECUTE HIS ***. IT IS A LITTLE LOCAL DIFFICULTY, NOT THE
APOCALYPSE.

So how can the United States cope with a more dangerous future?

There is no single solution, but recommendations by architects, civil
engineers and sociologists can be roughly sorted into a few categories.


WHACKO JACKO! THAT LITTLE LIST TELLS US THAT NO METEREOLOGIST WAS
WILLING TO COMMIT HIMSELF TO THIS CRAP. A SOCIOLOGIST, EH, A *REAL*
EXPERT!

_Beginning with infrastructure: Communications systems, power grids,
roads and flood control measures - especially levees - should be
expanded and hardened, they advise.

REALLY? BUT THE RISK ASSESSOR DECLINED TO GIVE YOU A FIRM NUMBER FOR
WHEN IT COULD HAPPEN AGAIN. SO NOW, ON A HYSTERICAL HUNT FOR FILLER FOR
NEWSPAPERS TOO SLACK TO DO THEIR OWN RESEARCH AND THINKING, WE HAVE AP
TELLING THE GOVERNMENT TO SPEND BILLIONS ON FLOOD DEFENSES AND
INFRASTRUCTURE REALLIGNMENT. THIS MONEY HAS TO COME OUT OF OTHER
PROJECTS. PEOPLE WILL DIE BECAUSE THE HYSTERIA VERRENGIA IS WHIPPING UP
HERE WILL NOT BE SUBJECT TO COMPARATIVE COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS.

Louisiana's levees were built to withstand a storm surge from a
category 3 hurricane. Nationwide, levee construction largely has been
deferred. In June, Congress and the White House slashed the U.S. Army
Corps of Engineers' latest request for levee improvements in New
Orleans from $105 million to $42.2 million.

Staring at a $200 billion clean-up tab, the original request now looks
like a bargain.

AN UNFORTUNATE COINCIDENCE OF EVENTS. A HUNDRED OTHER COMMUNITIES OR
PROJECTS WHICH ALSO HAD CUTS WERE NOT STRUCK BY DISASTER. THE PEOPLE
THAT MONEY WAS SPENT ON INSTEAD GAINED WORK OR HAPPINESS OR WHATEVER.
SOME OF THEM LIVED IN NEW ORLEANS. UNTIL RECENTLY THEY MAY HAVE
APPROVED THAT DECISION.

Roads, bridges and other key features have been equally neglected. The
interstate highway system that was clogged with evacuees is now 50
years old.

SEE MY COMMENT ABOVE STARTING REALLY?

"Katrina is a great example of how deteriorating infrastructure
actually created more damage," Comerio said. "If the levees could've
protected us just a little more, the flood would not have happened and
we would not have incurred the enormous costs of a displaced
population."

YUP. TEAR UP THE ROADS AND BRIDGES. REBUILD THEM ALL HURRICANE- AND
EARTHQUAKE-PROOF. WHO CARES ABOUT THE SICK WITHOUT MEDICAL CARE OR THE
POOR WITHOUT FOOD OR THE BLACKS WITH SHODDY EDUCATION, WE NEED ROADS
THAT WILL WITHSTAND THE EARTHQUAKE, REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT THE
EARTHQUAKE WILL NOT COME UNTIL THE ROADS HAVE BEEN DUST FOR MILLENNIA.

_A second priority: Turning knowledge into real improvements.

Katrina was perhaps the most-anticipated natural disaster in history,
and both hurricanes were forecast accurately. But elected officials and
top bureaucrats were reluctant to act aggressively on the advice of
scientists and other experts.

THAT'S BECAUSE SCIENCE IN GENERAL HAS WORKED MIGHTILY TO DISCREDIT
ITSELF, AND ENVIRONMENTAL "SCIENCE" (WITH WHICH THE REAL SCIENCE OF
METEREOLOGY IS CONFLATED IN THE MINDS OF THE DULLER POLITICANS) MOST OF
ALL, AS DESCRIBED BY THE OFFICIAL DECISIONS OF THE LEAD OFFICIAL BODY
IN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE, THE IPCC, TO TELL LIES FOR POLITICAL REASONS,
WHICH WAS EXPLAINED IN MY ORIGINAL POSTING IN THIS THREAD. THAT'S NOT
EVEN TO ACCOUNT FOR THE DAMAGE GREEN PRESSURE GROUPS HAVE DONE TO THEIR
OWN AND SCIENTIFIC CREDIBILITY.

As recently as last year, public officials war-gamed the impact of a
fictional Hurricane Pam in New Orleans. "We made great progress this
week in our preparedness efforts," Ron Castleman, FEMA regional
director, said at the time. The real disaster mocks his comments now.

MANAGEMENT FAILURES. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE APOCALYPSE, WHICH IS NOW
DEFINITELY RUNNING LATE.

Other exercises focusing on terrorism and infectious disease outbreaks
have pointed out similar flaws in communications, medical care and
evacuations in other cities. But the real-life storms suggest that few
real improvements have been made as a result of any dress rehearsals.

SURE THING. IT WOULD COST INCREDIBLE AMOUNTS TO GUARD JUST THE OBVIOUS
TARGETS. THE DISEASE, NATURAL OR TERRORIST, JUST MOVES TO THE NEXT,
SOFTER TARGET. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A RISK-FREE ENVIRONMENT,
SOCIETY, NEIGHBOURHOOD, OR COURSE OF ACTION.

"I don't know if the learning is as systematic as it needs to be," said
Fischhoff, who consults with the Department of Homeland Security.

THIS IS OUR RISK ASSESSOR BACK, IS IT, VERRENGIA, STILL GIVING YOU THE
RUNAROUND.

_But perhaps the biggest question confronting the nation, according to
disaster experts, isn't about building bigger dams or even reserving
more buses and boats.

NOW WE HAVE "DISASTER EXPERTS" WHO HAVE TO BE KEPT EMPLOYED. AND HOW
WILL WE KEEP THEM EMPLOYED? WHY, BY DEGRADING THE WORD DISASTER SO THAT
EVERY LITTLE HITCH IS DEFINED AS AT LEAST A DISASTER AND PREBABLY A
CATASTROPHE, SO THAT ALL THE INDIVIDUAL "DISASTER EXPERTS" CAN EACH
HIRE AN "ASSISTANT DISASTER EXPERT".

It's whether the nation has the will to squarely face more natural
catastrophes. No one interviewed expressed any confidence in the
special House committee created to investigate the Katrina response, in
part because of political infighting.

WHAT DID I JUST SAY? UPGRADE DISASTER TO CATASTROPHE. RIGHT ON THE
BUTTON MR VERRENGIA, OLD GULLIBLE HIMSELF, ARRIVES WITH "THE WILL TO
SQUARELY FACE MORE NATURAL CATASTROPHES" -- YUP, DISASTER IS DEAD, LONG
LIVE CATASTROPHE.

Several experts suggested more public officials should be booted after
Katrina. FEMA director Michael Brown was forced out, and New Orleans
Police Superintendent Eddie Compass has resigned.

"What we are missing, utterly and completely, in this government is
accountability," Hawken said.

HUH? THEY FAILED AND THEY LOST THEIR JOBS FOR IT. THAT'S ACCOUNTABILITY
IN ACTION. PROESSIONAL FULMINATORS AND MOUTHFOAMERS ARE SCREAMING THAT
MANY MORE SHOULD BE TOPPLED, AND THAT'S JUST THE SENATE PRACTICING
DEMOCRACY. I THINK HAWKEN CAN COUNT ON PLENTY OF "ACCOUNTABILITY".

"I don't see anybody talking in terms of shame," Fischhoff said. "I
don't see any soul-searching."

Many recommended an independent commission led by an independent figure
outside of government. Former Fed chairman Paul Volcker's inquiry into
corruption at the United Nations was one example cited. Another was the
investigation into the space shuttle Columbia disaster led by retired
Adm. Harold Gehman Jr.

A WISE OLD REPORTER SHOULD TAKE VERRENGIA ASIDE AND EXPLAIN THAT WHEN
THE GOVERNMENT FUCKS UP, THEY HOLD AN INQUIRY FOR LONG ENOUGH SO THAT
PEOPLE CAN FORGET WHO DONE IT, AND THEN THEY FIX THE BLAME ON A GUY WHO
HAS ALREADY RESIGNED OR WHOSE TERM IS ABOUT TO END ANYWAY.

Even while the Katrina investigation is ongoing, experts say America
should prepare for future disasters using a new set of conditions that
consider less obvious factors - like the predicted effects of global
warming.

AT LAST! THE FOUR HORSEMEN ARE ALMOST HERE. SOON WE WILL HEAR THEM
CLIPCLOP THROUGH THE FOYER. BUT WHAT HAVE WE HERE? OH, MY GOD, IT ISN'T
EVEN REAL GLOBAL WARMING WITH PSEUDO-EXPERTS. IT'S JUST A LIMP
"PREDICTED EFFECTS OF GLOBAL WARMING" WHICH HAS BECOME SUCH A TIRED
BATTLE-CRY VERRENGIA DOESN'T EVEN TRY TO LIST THEM. MAYBE AT THE END OF
ALL THIS WAFFLE, IN WHICH HE OFFERED NO PROOF THAT THERE WAS ANYTHING
MORE THAN A CYCLICAL, EASILY PREDICTABLE EVENT, HE HAS USED UP ALL HIS
SPACE. OR MAYBE "GLOBAL WARMING" IS NO LONGER SO FASHIONABLE.

HEY, BUT WE CAN LIVE IN HOPE. MAYBE NEXT TIME VERRENGIA WILL PROVE THAT
GLOBAL WARMING EXISTS.

DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH. VERRENGIA KNOWS IT IS CRAP:

Farfetched? Oil companies that have strongly opposed climate-based
environmental regulations are nevertheless raising their offshore
drilling platforms in the Gulf of Mexico by 15 feet in anticipation of
higher storm surges. Just in case.

YOU BET THE OIL COMPANIES DID IT, VERRY ME OLD PAL. OIL COMPANIES ARE
BASED ON HARD SCIENCE, THEY KNOW HOW TO SORT OUT THE BULLSHITTERS WHO
WOULD LIKE YOU TO GIVE THEM THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME AS PROMISED
BY ANDY WARHOL FROM THE ACTUAL SCIENTISTS, AND THEY KNOW HOW TO DO
COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS.

History is littered with the bones of great cities built in defiance of
nature, most prominently the ancient version of Alexandria, Egypt, and
its great library and lighthouse. That was another city built in the
squishy mouth of a great river. Two millennia later, some truths don't
change, said Muir-Woods, who raised the comparison with New Orleans.

"Climate change will have its greatest impact at the coastlines,"
Muir-Woods said, "and the risk will go up higher than people think."

SO WHY DID WE NEED ALL THIS OTHER CRAPOLA TO GET TO WHERE THE EXPERT
(ALL THE WAY OVER THERE IN LONDON, ENGLAND, BECAUSE THE HOMEGROWN
EXPERTS FEAR GETTING STRUNG UP IN THE HYSTERIA IF THEY SPEAK THE TRUTH)
TELLS US WHAT WE ALL KNOW ALREADY:

IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO BUILD A CITY BELOW SEA LEVEL ON A HURRICANE
SHORE, THE HURRICANE WILL EVENTUALLY ARRIVE AND DROWN YOU.

ANYWAY, IT WAS NICE AND WARM IN THE FOYER, THE DRINKS AND THE CANAPES
WERE FREE, AND INSIDE THE CONFERENCE ROOM, TOO FAR AWAY FOR THE DRONE
TO DISTURB ME, THE "EXPERTS" FERVENTLY JUMPED ON THE BANDWAGON OF "THE
ENVIRONMENT", WHISPERING DARKLY, BUT NOT FOR QUOTATION YOU UNDERSTAND,
ABOUT "NATURE CONSPIRING WITH GEORGE BUSH TO SINK A BLACK CITY UNDER
THE SEA."

***

OUTSIDE, ON THE PAVEMENT, THE WIND WHIPPED THE PONCHOS OF FOUR MEXICAN
KIDS ON DONKEYS. "ARE YOU THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE?" I ASKED THEM
SOMEWHAT INCREDULOUSLY, OFFERING THEM THE PLATE OF CANAPE I HAD
DRUNKENLY (IT HAD BEEN A LONG, LONG DAY OF "EXPERT" DISASTER TESTIMONY)
BROUGHT FROM INSIDE THAT LARGELY INNOCENT THE HOTEL.

ONE OF THE KIDS HAD A SENSE OF THE DRAMATIC. HE SWEPT OFF HIS SOMBRERO
AND MADE A DEEP BOW OVER HIS DONKEY'S SHOULDERS. "WE HAVE THE HONOUR TO
BE CALLED THAT, SENOR."

THE DONKEY, STARTLED BY THE MOVEMENT, BAULKED AND NEARLY THREW HIM. I
CAUGHT SOME HAIR ON THE DONKEY'S THROAT TO HOLD HIM STEADY.

"FUCKING MULE," SAID THE KID AND JAMMED HIS HEELS HARD INTO IT. THE
DONKEY CHOKED A LITTLE. "YOU'RE STRANGLING MY MULE, SENOR. WE NEED HIM.
HE IS PART OF OUR ACT WITH THE LADY ENVIRONMENTAL EXPERTS."

I GLANCED UP AT THE PALE LATE-AFTERNOON SUN. GLOBAL WARMING COULD STILL
GET OUT OF HAND IF THE SUN STARTED ROLLING BACKWARDS. BETTER TO BE
SURE! I ASKED, "AND THE NAME OF YOUR GROUP, NINO, POR FAVOR?"

"THE FOUR HORSEMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE, SENOR."

.

Loading