Such A Deal

POSTED July 16, 2009

Goldman Sachs in Talks to Acquire Treasury Department
Sister Entities to Share Employees, Money

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal
in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today
that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between
Goldman and the Treasury Department is "a good fit" because "they're
in the business of printing money and so are we."

The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies
for both entities: "We already have so many employees and so much
money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things."

Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the
merger "is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we
don't already own."

Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig
over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.

Elsewhere, conspiracy theorists celebrated the 40th anniversary of
NASA faking the moon landing.

And in South Carolina, Gov. Mark Sanford gave his wife a new diamond
ring, while his wife gave him an electronic ankle bracelet.

It's a JOKE, Boy! Don ya git'it?? (why ya cry'in?) \w/