Re: what I did on my vacation in hell

Miranda sez:
Thank you, darlin.

<blush> aw shucks

I know you know the way to dante's little flames, too.

I've had my moments ...

I don't care what some one's religion is nor their philosophy nor
how great the drugs or doctor or friends and family: the big illnesses
just straight up plain told honest John suck. They are scary and they
hurt and modifications to one's brain and mind and perforce thinking
and therefor personality occur and it's bewildering. I mean, if one
weren't focused on one's very survival, sometimes on a second-by-
second basis for days at a time!!!!! one might have the basic tools
like time and good humor and memory and vocabulary and imagination and
curiosity and the basic love of life and the basic elements of
civility like saying please and thank you...

yeah, docs can be fun ... NOT

If one had any of those skills or characteristics left after the
henchmen of big disease visits you and takes every thing left, every
scrap of charm, every rip of rag left, every voodoo doll and their
tiny pockets full of coupons for 5% off depleted uranium flamingoes
and lawn chairs And you with your sign's birth stone!.. kryptonite.
So go ahead! You are the best mind of a generation! Howl! Rage
against the dying of the light!

<scratching head>
I dunno, denial works for me ... grin.
I have some medical 'problems,' but I still get up every morning,
trying not to focus on them and take things one step at a time ...

But it won't help. In fact, it'll probably cause you to lie very
still for half an hour in the grip of Pain's brain stem game of grab
ass (Satan has sleep apnea and he wakes then and chortles "Lizard God
cuddles with mortal" which is the midpoint surge of pain for you. And
you make your plans to ring the bell and call the nurse as soon as the
howling you subfused the universe with iterates its jagged tazer
lectures and its unskilled mimer's dance of hate and its vengeful
pranha breathing and its autodidactic child's garden of misinformation
closes for the evening as soon as the reverberations have traveled
beyond the Pleiades allowing an hour of gratitude sung silently
within. So Ican meditate on the perfection of drinking a glass of
water while sitting in the sweltering dark, quiet all around and
cultivating with a new found gentility the profound absence of pain.
Oh! Glory!

well said ...

And even all that Sucks. A left over three stooges script.
I have always been quite devoted to all that conscienciousness. So
what's the point?

I dunno, I always did enjoy the 3 stooges' skits ...
It is all about one's POV, I guess ...

But it occures to me and my massive ego that I'm only speaking for
myself. (And, mind: only capturing the gestaltem of a couple of
passages, at that.) And mind you: I only know about zilch about your
illnesses, Mike. You didn't post much about any specifics from
your(must have been at least some times)dance with the music hating
devil. Can you tell something now? I really like the way you write
now. The changes are tastefully subtle, or at least you managed
skillfully and have made it seem like modest changes. Quite an
accomplishment!

Like I said, I have some circumstances that tend to aggravate on ocassion,
but I try to overlook my own ineptitude in dealing with them ...
I've found a good sense of humor, if dark at times, does help a lot.

Id seriously like to read about your perception of treatments or the
event of diagnoses and prognosis or whatever.
Love, your sister, <R>

I've learned o'er time that docs don't know everything and often can't
agree with each other in their diagnosis, (see House, (TV program), grin).
I figure that the MAKER will call each of us HOME when it is time
and it is ours to make out as best we can until we receive that CALL.
I've too many acquaintances and pals who deal with much heavier
physical hassles than I with humor and strength to take the time
to mention my own little problems - with this machine I inhabit.
<shrug>
That said, keep on plugging, do what you can and a bit
more each day, and feel good about yourself - even if
others don't ... grin.
Me? I'm often too preoccupied to pay much attention
these days, especially to my own little dramas ...

Its good to see you writing again ... hang in there.
PM


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