Re: Wahoo for Tuesday 7/15/08
- From: "Goldie's Master" <jmstarry@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 16 Jul 2008 16:45:57 -0700 (PDT)
On Jul 16, 9:01 am, Donz5 <do...@xxxxxxx> wrote:
LS site still undergoing repairs, so here's Mike's Wahzette for last
night's show:
TUESDAY JULY 15, 2008. Show #2952
Meryl Streep; Aaron Eckhart; and Randy Travis. PLUS: Understanding
the Bank Crisis; an old PSA; an interruption from the audience; Great
Moments in Presidential Speeches; Guys Who Look Like Dave; and a top
ten list with Derek Jeter.
“. . . and now, satisfied Delorean owner . . . . . . . . David
Letterman!”
ACT 1:
Have you been following the banking crisis? Me neither, but
apparently things aren’t going so well for those who made millions and
billions in the 90s. And now Americans are concerned about the
security of their finances, so the government released this message
explaining the situation.
Announce: “Following the collapse of California’s IndyMac Bank, many
people are wondering about the stability of their own banks. Here’s
what you need to know: when depositors rapidly withdraw large sums of
money, it can create a liquidity crisis, which may lead a bank to be
placed into conservatorship by the FDC. Then a bridge bank is
established to assume control of assets and secured liabilities,
until . . . . ah, screw it.
(panic mode; vt of people running through the streets) Get your
money out now, people! Stock up on the jerky and firearms! This is
the big one!
This has been Understanding the Bank Crisis.”
I still don’t get it. This is all I know about high finances: The
only time a millionaire goes broke is when he tries to double it.
It’s been a hot and humid summer around these parts, with another heat
wave rolling in this weekend. Dave recalls the hot and hazy days back
in Indianapolis in the old days and the “experts” reacted to the heat
much differently back then. Dave shows an old Public Service
Announcement he would see back when life was in black and white.
Announcer: (old b&w footage) “Looking for relief from the summer
heat? Here’s a tip for when the temperature soars into the 90s:
Break open the thermometer and drink the cool, refreshing mercury!
Ahhh.
A message from the American Healthy Living Council.”
I laughed at the images that accompanied this piece. Nostalgically
funny.
Dave is interrupted by a guy in the audience.
Guy: “Excuse me, Dave! Dave! Excuse me!”
DAVE: “I think someone in the audience has a question. Yes, sir?
Guy: “Yeah, I know during the summer a lot of programs air reruns.
Is tonight’s show a rerun?”
DAVE: (confused) “Uh. . . . . . no.”
Guy: “Seriously, I don’t want to waste an hour of my life if this is a
rerun, you know what I’m saying? It is a rerun, isn’t it?”
DAVE: “ . . . . . . .. . yes. Yes, it is.”
Guy: “That’s what I thought.” (looks to his wife) “Let’s go,
Iris.” The guy and his wife exit.
“GREAT MOMENTS IN PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES”
President Bush: “ . . . it’s just a . . . . . I can’t answer question
beyond a . . . . . people seem to be . . . . uhhhh . . . . .”
Dave tries to explain the President’s knack to start a thought and
then change his mind and then start in another direction and then
changing his mind over and over again.
Dave says it’s like he’s on a pier on a hot day looking out into the
nice cool water below. The water looks so inviting, so refreshing.
He can’t help himself so he runs and runs towards the edge of the pier
and jumps off. And then just before hitting the water below he
realizes he can’t swim.
ACT 2:
Dave’s boy, Harry, is now 4-and-a-half years old and going to summer
camp. Harry was scheduled to go swimming today at the camp for the
first time. Dave instructs him to call as soon as he’s done to give
him a full report. Just before the show, Harry calls Daddy,
excitedly out of breath. “Dad, guess what happened at the pool
today?! There was a fat man in his underpants!” Harry couldn’t
have been more cheery about it. Dave wonders if he is getting his
money’s worth in this camp. I think it is. Seeing something like
that can keep the kids giggling till September.
SMALL TOWN NEWS – After Paul and the band open with the Small Town
News theme, Dave tells us we aren’t doing Small Town News but since we
love the theme song so much, we decided to have “P & the B” perform
it. What we are doing tonight is something similar. Many people
send in Small Town News items, but in addition to that, we get a lot
of “I saw this in the newspaper and this guy looks just like Dave.”
So tonight we decided to do “GUYS WHO LOOK LIKE DAVE.”
Some were hits. Some were misses. After the third one, Dave says,
“We’re only 3 photos into it, but it’s obvious they’re all goofy
looking.” Dave easily connects the dots.
My favorites were the hat model from Gimplers and the Wanted Man.
ACT 3:
TOP TEN – Perks of Being an All-Star – and to present tonight’s Top
Ten list, from your New York Yankees, nine-time All-Star, Derek Jeter.
7. I can re-broadcast games without the express written consent of
Major League
Baseball.
1. Special “All-Star Cups” vibrate in your pants.
MERYL STREEP: She’s in the summer musical blockbuster, “Mamma Mia!”
opening this Friday.
Meryl’s daughter is also an actress. Dave asked when did it become
apparent that her daughter would take a liking to acting. Meryl tries
to recall one of her own earlier films. It was during the filming
of this movie that her daughter became enamored with the
profession. Meryl thinks hard and puts a palm to her head trying to
recall the film. The name isn’t coming to her, and sighs, “Oh, God..”
Paul blurts, “ . . . with George Burns!” I laughed a good laugh at
that.
Wanting to become an actress and being the daughter of Meryl Streep
has its upsides and downsides. Of course, it opens a lot of doors,
but it also puts you up to a gold standard. Comparisons are
inevitable. Both good and bad, Dave simply labels this “The Meryl
Factor.” A proud Meryl says her daughter just got a rave review in
the Wall Street Journal for her performance on Broadway and Meryl is
most pleased that no where in the article did it mention that she was
the daughter of Meryl Streep.
When did Meryl get into acting and where did she learn her craft?
After graduating from Vassar, Meryl attended a theatrical commune in
Vermont. Dave asks, “Was it a hippie deal?” Meryl smiles and says,
“Yeah.” Dave follows, “And was it one of those ‘free love’ kind of
deals?” Over the laughs, Meryl giggles and says, “No, you always
had to pay.”
“Mamma Mia” – it opens this Friday.
ACT 5:
Announce: “Tomorrow on the Late Show, Dave is joined by Maggie
Gyllenhaal; Neil Young; and musical group The Hold Steady.
The Late Show! News you can count on, comedy you won’t get anywhere
else.
We’ll be right back.”
ACT 6:
AARON ECKHART: He’s in “The Dark Knight” – it opens this Friday.
Unfortunately, Aaron isn’t allowed to talk about the Batman movie.
Can’t give anything away. Aaron plays the villain, Harvey Two-
Face. I wonder if his character is anything like those NBA
commercials I saw during the Finals.
Aaron got some good news this morning. The road at his Montana ranch
is getting paved. Ooohhh, first time I’ve heard “paved” and “good
news” in the same sentence.
And there is a big project going on there to help him locate the
rattlesnake nests. Somebody, probably a local, attaches a tiny GPS
to the back of a rattler and then you track it. What you do after you
find where the rattlesnakes live, well, that’s up to you.
“The Dark Knight” – the guy with the two faces is Aaron. And he’s on
the cover of this month’s Men’s Health magazine. He’s a bit unhappy
the magazine couldn’t have airbrushed in a six-pack tummy.
ACT 7:
RANDY TRAVIS: From his new CD, “Around the Bend,” the great Randy
Travis performed “Dig Two Graves.”
And that was our show for Tuesday July 15, 2008.
Mark it down: July 1st. On July 1st at K-Mart, I saw the first
“Back To School” sale of the summer. My girls’ last day of school
was June 27th.
Did you watch the Major League Baseball All-Star game last night? I
watched some of it. I actually made a point to watch the opening
ceremony and introductions. I hate this part when it is done at the
Super Bowl, because the game is so much more important than the intros
and the circus. With the Baseball All-Star, the circus atmosphere is
part of the show in this otherwise meaningless game. And as usual, I
spent the half hour screaming at the TV because of camera shots and
questionable production.
Problems:
- When the biggest stars were announced, both the All-Stars and the
aged Hall of Famers, the camera took us into the stands to see the
crowd applauding the scene below on the field. Guess what? I wanted
to see the scene down on the field, too. I didn’t want to see the
crowd watching the scene down on the field. Is there a more non-
descript shot in sports than a crowd applauding? Jeter, A-Rod,
Mariano, Yogi, Whitey . . . . let’s look at the crowd! Would you
rather see Hall of Fames and future Hall of Famers, or would you
rather see 75 people from Westchester, Ridgefield, and Yorkville
clapping hands?
- George Steinbrenner is driven out onto the field in a golf cart to
the adulation from the crowd. The brittle Mr. Steinbrenner delivers
4 baseballs to Goose, Whitey, Yogi, and Reggie for them to throw out
the ceremonial first pitch. And what are the baseballs contained?
In a brown manila folder. Huh? All the money that was poured into
this All-Star game and Steinbrenner has to reach into a plain brown
folder for these “precious” baseballs? How about fancying it up to
fit the moment. Put the balls in a basket or a Yankee helmet or
something. Not in a brown manila folder.
- During the introduction of the starting lineups, the players from
each team ran to ...
read more »
Did anyone notice the Acura commercial sound track about 11:40? As if
to be playing a radio commercial while the car was moving along and
the point of view was gradually moving closer to the car, the entire
voice over was accompanied by a subliminal rock band repeating, "John,
John, John McCain. John, John, John McCain. Love that John, John,
John McCain." Repeated about 12 time.
Watch tonight or any other time. Respond if you see it.
Mike at jmstarry@xxxxxxxxxxx
.
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