Re: OT: Tom's Big-Ass Trip Report, Part Two


Tom Cronin wrote:
Part Two: The Big Show

So, we gather in front of The Ed at 3:45, and are ushered DIRECTLY TO
OUR SEATS. No standing outside, no claustrophobic 20 minute wait in the
lobby, just an opportunity to march directly past the unwashed masses,
the rubes with their fanny packs and white socks with sandals, the
clueless horde of mouth-breathers who still call it "Late Night" and
wonder out loud if that Larry "Bud" Melman guy will be on tonight...

Our seats were fantastic, BTW. Three rows of eight, center section,
about halfway up. I had Steve on my left, Lehecka on my right (more on
Lehecka later). Some activity (floor polishing, guitar tuning, etc.),
but really a pretty mellow atmosphere, at least at first. MikeMack came
off the stage and up the aisle to pass along some info to the group: "I
might be featured in a bit tonight--- there can't be any reaction to my
name." As Mike mentioned in the WG however, the telephone game took
hold so that by the time the message reached the far left side, "Don't
cheer at McIntee's name" became "Free beer and snacks after the game."

Oh was that what he said? I thought I heard "Free the bear before he
snacks us all up during the pre-game". Wow, is my face red now.


At about 4PM, the piped-in music started (Goo-Goo Dolls) and the
interns went into Full Perky mode, encouraging us to clap along. The
ringleader seemed to be a cute blonde at center stage, shaking her
booty and, unfortunately, chewing her gum with her mouth open. Two more
songs, then Eddie Brill told us we'd see Dave At Taco Bell (while it
played, Eddie paced the stage, silently mouthing every word in the
video) and performed his brief routine. He introduced the band
one-by-one and they launched into "Basked Case," featuring a very
strong lead by Bones Malone. At this point, Renee (who was sitting
right in front of me), pointed at an AFLer a few seats away who had
tears streaming down her face. I know the feeling: trombone solos
always get to me, too.

Dave came out in shirtsleeves, talked about the weather, and then had a
highly comical conversation with AFL's very own Mark Leckner. Cool! ---
can't wait for Mark to post his version of the story.

I better tell this story while it is still fresh in my head, and that I
was sitting next to Mark at the time. Dave all of a sudden went
right to Mark and said, "Where did you get that shirt?" I believe Mark
replied, "I got it 5 years ago from a homeless guy". That caught Dave
by surprised by the look on his face, frowning. I cracked up laughing,
that was the perfect line. Dave then asked, "What did you pay for
that shirt?". Mark replied, "$20.00". Dave said, "$20.00? You know
it cost $40.00 now. Eddie, pay the guy for the shirt". At this point
Eddie Brill comes down to our row, and hands a 20 dollar bill to the
crowd toward us. Dave watches the money as it is being passed on from
person to person teasing us. When the $20.00 got to my fingers, I
decided to make this a bit more interesting, and skipped giving it to
Mark, handing it over to Bostonbill I think. Mark quickly grabs the
money from us, and hits me in the shoulder. It was great comedy. Dave
just shook his head in disgust as we did that bit. Then it was time
for the show.


Dave ran off the
stage, and a few of us noticed the cold open on the monitors. As soon
as it was over, the theme music started, Alan gave his familiar "From
Neeeeew York...", and Dave came-a-runnin' out. Very exciting, and very
surreal.

As Renee, Rona, and other vets recommend, I tried to look away from the
monitors and notice the behind the scenes stuff.

It's very hard not to watch the monitors, especially the HDTV ones. I
tried hard to focus on the behind the scenes stuff. The clips on the
monitors did have some stuff that was new. At one point, I was so into
watching them, that I missed Sandra leaving the stage. Rats.


The band genuinely
appreciates Dave, laughing at nearly all the jokes and off-the-cuff
remarks. Sid and Felicia especially seemed to have smiles on the faces
nearly the entire show. The desk activity during the commercial breaks
is usually pretty intriguing, and I always wonder what those
discussions are like. I guess it's all business to them, like me having
a conversation with my sales manager: "If this guy commits to
purchasing 200K over the next three months, we can promise him 90-day
billing, waive delivery fees, and give him an extra 1% on his early pay
discount..." except they're saying, "If we kill the OJ Sex Tape Top
Ten, then we can have room for Sue Hum and her pudding, and maybe add
the Widespread Panic stoner dude and the newspaper boy..." Weird
business, sure, but business nonetheless.

As I mentioned, I was sitting next to Bill Lehecka. I know it's been
documented in Trip Reports before, but Bill has a laugh that can be
described as... unique. Once he gets going, it's pretty much
unstoppable, and if you taped the show you can hear it from the
Father's Day bit through the Sandra Bullock segments. What does Bill's
laugh sound like? It's impossible to describe, but I do know that as we
left the theater a group of Eskimos was standing outside with clubs in
their hands, wondering where the baby seal was.

Very funny stuff. Thanks again, Tom.



The hour flew by. We were treated to an extended version of "All Along
the Watchtower" by the CBSO, one of my all-time favorite rock-n-roll
songs. Sandra Bullock was cute, and TINY. I will not be going to see
her movie. Widespread Panic was OK, easily the second-best band on the
stage that afternoon. Dave Rules.

As the Nameless, Faceless Pod-People filed out, we smugly stayed in our
seats, waiting for the lovely and vivacious Tony Mendez to give us
direction...


Tom

.

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