Wed. 9/14 Big Show Synopsis

Hey, how are ya? Before we begin, I'd like to make one thing perfectly clear: I do recognize the notion of 'stare decisis.' However, I *don't* think it should necessarily be applied to the law or to life in general. Thank you. Here we go ...

On tonight's program: Reese Witherspoon, NASCAR points leader Tony Stewart and musical guest The Arcade Fire.

Dave says everyone in tonight's audience is going home with a big beef dinner.

Reese Witherspoon is here tonight. She stars in "Just Like Heaven," opening nationwide this Friday (September 16). She also costars, with Joaquin Phoenix, in an upcoming Johnny Cash biopic. She plays June Carter Cash. Dave has seen the Cash film. He says it's tremendous. He says that he's been cautioned by publicists not to talk about it too much, as they're interested in selling tickets to "Just Like Heaven." "But, I'm tellin' ya," Dave says. "They're running a deal. If you buy a ticket to 'Just Like Heaven' *now*, it's good for one admission for when the Johnny Cash movie comes out. Like a two-for-one deal."

Who's putting away the 'Late Show' bear tonight? Supervising Editor Mark Spada. Paul wonders whether he's supervising editor of *this* show. Dave says he's actually supervising editor of the world at large. It's a UN position! No, no, no ... He is indeed the supervising editor of the 'Late Show.' Tonight's 'Late Show' bear sponsor: KFC. 'KFC: We do chicken right.'

Dave says people have been sending in emails wondering why the 'Late Show' bear has to be put away every night. How does it get loose? Dave says they were talking about this upstairs. Jude Brennan theorizes that teenagers are responsible. Dave says they decided to install a hidden camera to identify the culprit. So, who's responsible for releasing the 'Late Show' bear each day? Tony Danza.

- 'What the Hell Did You Expect, Dumbass?' (There was a brief blackout this week in Los Angeles. We see a clip from CNN. Wolf Blitzer: "There's a big chunk of Los Angeles that has just lost electrical power. We're not exactly sure what's going on. Let's bring in CNN's Jen Rogers. She's *in* our Los Angeles bureau. What do we know, Jen? <<dead air; long pause>> All right, we're going to go to Jen Rogers in a moment.")

- Announcement: FEMA (Voiceover: "Former Arabian horse judge Michael Brown was clearly unqualified to be head of FEMA. Rest assured, America: his replacement, David Paulison, *is* qualified. Paulison spent three years interning at the Westminster Dog Show. FEMA: we're getting there.")

- Announcement: President Bush (Voiceover: "In response to criticism of the way the hurricane crisis was handled, President Bush wants the American people to know that he accepts full responsibility for failures at the federal level. And to demonstrate that even the most powerful officials must accept the consequences of their mistakes, Mr. Bush has announced that he will resign from the presidency ... effective January 20, 2009. George W. Bush: the buck stops here.")

Before going to the break, we take a look at some new fall television shows. I always enjoy these, particularly their delivery -- i.e., Dave just reading descriptions, with no graphics or clips.

After the break, Bob Borden pays us a visit. We see a clip of Bob's recent return to "Guiding Light." In this episode, he plays a delivery person with a bad cold. Hey, he got a decent amount of screen time! And several lines, too. I assume the excellent on-cue sneezing was due to method acting. Nice goin', Bob.

Hey, where's Reese?! She missed the entrance. What was the problem? Reese: "I don't know! Biff left me hangin'."

Where was Biff? What was the deal? Biff: "I guess she had a problem following direction." Wow. Biff: "What's the matter?" Biff didn't really mean that, probably. Did he? Biff: "That's what I said."

Way to stand up for yourself, Biff! Nice goin'. I enjoyed that. Later, we see Biff and Reese making up in the greenroom.

Did I ever tell you about my lifelong dream to dominate the world of 'funny car' drag racing?

The opening of the song was intriguing, but I can't yet vouch for the rest of the performance. How was it? I'll go to the tape a little later. The album is "Funeral" (Merge Records).

 - Act V: Biff & Reese working things out.

That's all I got. I'm going to go now and get something to eat.

Later ...