Fri. 9/9 Big Show Synopsis

Hey, how's it goin'? Somehow, I find myself without a digital copy of Thursday night's show. I don't have an analog copy, either. So, there'll be no 'TR 9/8 Big Show Synopsis.' Please, try not to rend your shirt in despair. I'd hate to be responsible for anyone rending a shirt in despair. Rending a shirt in lust-inspired passion? That I wouldn't mind so much. But I'd hate to be responsible for anyone rending a shirt in despair. Here we go ...

 - FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2005 -
On tonight's program: Jennifer Lopez and tennis player James Blake.

*MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS*
"Ladies and gentlemen, here's exciting news. Tonight on the 'Late Show,' our new cue card boy ... is former head of FEMA, Michael Brown. <<laughter; cheers>> Take a bow, Michael. <<continuing applause>> There he is, right there."

"Ya know, everybody is saying ... that FEMA was slow to respond. And I think maybe FEMA *is* slow. I think FEMA actually is just slow. Because they're just now starting to respond to Tom Cruise's appearance on Oprah."

*KNOW YOUR CURRENT EVENTS*
Participant # 1: Greg from Richmondtown, PA. He's a cook, currently looking for a job. Dave tells Greg that he doesn't smell like a cook. Dave notes that he loves to eat. Does Greg love to eat? He does indeed. Fish is his favorite meat to prepare. While Greg is picking a category, Dave chats with a woman in the audience. Does she like to eat meat? No, she doesn't eat meat. She *does* eat chicken. Hmm ... She's a 'partial vegetarian.' Greg plays: 'Know Your Cuts of Meat.'

Participant # 2: Matt from Australia (originally from Virginia). He works in the insurance industry. How did he get to Australia? Well, it's because of his girlfriend, Katie. She's with him here tonight. They met in Las Vegas. What were they doing in Vegas? They were drinking. Dave says he'd rather play with Katie. She and Matt end up playing together. They play: 'Know Your Tennis Babes.'

Participant # 3: Erin, a graphic designer from Dubuque, IA. She's the partial vegetarian who eats chicken. She plays: 'Know Your FEMA Director Michael Brown.'

Vicki to Dave: "Let me ask you something, Mr. Crawford. How's the go going? ... Sorry to interrupt the rehearsal, but in honor of Kung Fu Week, I've written a special poem. ... Whatever, Grandpa. Take your pill. ... Is that a toupee or a squirrel on your head? Goodnight, everybody!"

*DESK CHAT HIGHLIGHTS*
Dave spends some time talking about the multi-network fundraising concert that aired earlier tonight. Paul and some members of the CBSO participated, backing up Garth Brooks. The concert lasted an hour, but the fundraising effort continues. Donations can be made by calling 866-424-3669 (866-4-AID-NOW), or by visiting the Red Cross or Salvation Army Web sites (www.RedCross.org and www.SalvationArmyUSA.org, respectively).

Who's putting away the 'Late Show' bear tonight? Paul's assistant, Daniel Fetter. Daniel gives a valiant effort, but is soon overpowered by the ferocious beast. The bear goes on a rampage through the hallway, terrorizing staffers. Oh, the humanity! Then the bear goes outside, scaring bystanders, before ... hailing a cab. He's outta here. Ya know, I have a feeling that bear's gonna be alllllllll [sic] right. Dave is worried; says ya gotta wonder how much money they're gonna bring in 'with crap like that.' Dave, laughing: "We just saw that crap on CBS! A guy in a bear suit ... "

- Announcement: President Bush on FEMA Director Michael Brown (Voiceover: "As is his wont, President Bush would affectionately refer to FEMA Director Michael Brown as 'Brownie.' In light of recent events, however, President Bush has decided to change his personal nickname for Mr. Brown to 'Clueless ***.' Bushie: fast on his feet, cool in a crisis.")

*JENNIFER LOPEZ*
I was amused by Dave's insistence that Jennifer must have experienced some sort of spiritual enlightenment by spending time in her new film's setting. (She was having none of it, insisting that the mountain vista where they filmed was nice, but not necessarily enlightening.) The film is "An Unfinished Life," co-starring Robert Redford and Morgan Freeman. What's the deal with the film? I heard it's been in the can for two years.

*JAMES BLAKE*
The best part of this interview was listening to the two of them discuss shingles. (James had a particularly nasty case of shingles himself.)

*OTHER STUFF*
'Shelter from the Storm: A Concert for the Gulf Coast'
 - Phone: 866-424-3669 (866-4-AID-NOW)
 - Red Cross: www.RedCross.org
 - Salvation Army: www.SalvationArmyUSA.org

*MISCELLANEOUS MEANDERING*
Last night, I dreamt that I was sharing an elevator with Larry King. The elevator seemed to be having technical difficulties, and we both expressed concern that it was about to break down. We eventually stepped off on the same floor -- the elevator door opened to an outdoor setting, actually -- and I began walking with Larry, telling him my thoughts regarding Hillary Clinton's supposed presidential ambitions. Larry ignored me, and he just kept walking. And then he took off his shirt to show off the large tattoo on his back. No, no, no ... I made up that last part. But the rest is true.

That's all I got. Have a good weekend, people.

Later ...

Brady
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