Re: Of Mice and . . . CATS
- From: "old jon" <ImNotIn@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 30 Jul 2005 15:08:13 GMT
A very good read. <g>. bw..OJ
"CURIOUS ANGEL" <byte.this@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:11en35p510r7faf@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> ONCE UPON A TIME . . .
>
> In a land far, far way -- er, shortly after the WHEEL was invented -- I
> began experiencing squirrely activity with my PS2 mouse. Allow me to
> introduce it to you:
>
> WINBEST 4D+
> Model WWW-11
> 3-button
> 2-wheel
> Picture here http://www..........
>
> My 4D+'s (manufactured by A4 TECH) won't win any beauty contest; indeed,
> I've had far lovelier mice in the past -- most notably a faux burl-wood
> Logitech 3 button (still partially viewable at the La Brea Tar Pits). But
> I digress. So there I was in 2001, walking down the Keyboard/Mouse aisle
> at Fry's, looking for ~ oh yes, let me pause here:
>
> I can report that Tide performs admirably for cleaning your keyboard keys.
> Now, in the interest of full disclosure I did add some bleach. Just make
> sure you're on Full Cycle and using very hot water (this, in addition to
> the obvious accessory, a lingerie bag). You will have stunningly-clean
> keys. What you won't be able to do is PUT THE SPACEBAR ON AGAIN if it's a
> Microsoft Natural Keyboard.
>
> So there I was in 2001 -- walking down the Keyboard/Mouse aisle at Fry's
> looking for a replacement for the Microsoft Natural Keyboard whose
> SPACEBAR apparently requires an advanced degree in Engineering + a tool
> developed and owned exclusively by NASA should you take it off and ever
> think to put it on again -- when I spied these two 4D+'s and my right hand
> said: COMFY. WANT. BUY. SMOOTH WHEEL. BUY. even as my eyes said: NO!
> KEEP MOVING! UP THERE -- THE SHINY LOGITE~. (well, you get the picture)
>
> My hand did not just like this mouse, I can state categorically that it
> MADE LOVE to this mouse, it felt so comfortable. I was only able to
> separate them from their throes of ecstasy and return to my other shopping
> by placing a _second_ 4D+ unit in my shopping cart tsk (there was bitter
> complaining on the way home) (it was all I could do to keep my hand on the
> wheel). But I digress.
>
> The years progressed and I became increasingly aware that the design of
> MICE, if allowed to continue its present design trend, would shortly cross
> my combined sense aesthetic practicality and squarely arrive in the Land
> of the Vulgar. I am a writer, if you haven't already guessed; and I am
> waiting for the day one's mouse has evolved to the point of now not only
> doing one's typing for them, but composing, as well. There are enough
> buttons and gewgaws on today's mice I get a headache just contemplating
> placing my hand on one for fear I'll activate my home security alarm or
> start my blender.
>
> It proved to be providential that I purchased two of these same ($20)
> models, because I cannot for the life of me find one model among the
> current litter that I could tolerate.
>
> I look at some of these mice and am curiously reminded of . . . the U.S.S.
> Enterprise.
> But I digress.
>
> Two years ago I adopted a cat; she had kittens; and (after giving away
> some) I am now a 3-cat household -- this, after never having had even one
> pet after some tropical fish I purchased kept coming down with ich. or
> ick. or (well, you get the picture).
>
> Now, coincidental to the expansion of my family by 3 felines, I began
> noticing that my beloved 4D+ mouse was acting squirrely. In the interest
> of expediency, I retired the faulty unit and placed 4D+ No. 2 into action;
> but . . . well this is strange. 4D+ No. 2 began acting squirrely also --
> indeed, worse even that No. 1.
>
> Yesterday I finally had my fill of it, and went online in search of a new
> mouse. There was not a one I found to my taste, whereupon I remembered
> that Target sold mice -- and probably the older style mice that I am
> apparently out-of-style in preferring. I purchased a $13 GE Dual Scroll
> USB Optical mouse; brought it home; and knew immediately I wouldn't be
> able to tolerate it. GE (that friendly maker of washing machines and
> bombs) apparently thinks the surface of the human finger insufficient to
> push a mouse wheel, and endowed this unit's wheels with TREADS. My tender
> flesh no more likes the rough pavement of this wheel than my bare feet
> enjoy walking on cut glass.
>
> There comes a time in the life of a computer owner when they shut their
> computer down and examine, for the first time, the underbelly of their
> mouse. Over the years I've encountered innumerable admonishments to clean
> my mouse but never took it seriously because, well, the ball looked okay
> to me.
>
> But this was war.
> I wanted my mouse back.
> I wanted BOTH of my mice back, now that I saw the design trends in mice in
> just four years had abandoned my simpleton preference for something
> practical for something fussy.
>
> I turned the bottom circle thingy to get at the ball of my mouse. The
> ball looked as good as it had ever looked but -- I noticed something that
> looked like fuzz on one of the parts, and grabbing a tweezer, picked at
> it.
>
> What I found was two years' worth of baby-fine CAT HAIR clinging to the
> little gears of my mouse -- held together by the gunk of years of
> traversing my mouse pad!
>
> The righteous indignation I felt cannot be put into words!
> The violation of my person! er, my right hand! I mean.
> The terror of subjecting me to a world of mice designers formerly employed
> by NASCAR!
> The INFAMY of depriving me of quite simply the most comfortable mouse I
> have ever owned!
>
> So friends, the moral of this story is a simple one. Listening class?
>
> Don't go out and buy a new mouse
> Don't panic when the models look like something your son might wish for in
> a Star Trek model kit
> Don't reach for that Q-Tip
> Get out your Rubbing Alcohol
> Get out your tweezers
> Get out that tiny Philips screwdriver that fits in your mouse's screw.
> Get a piece of NON-LINTY material (hard wove, like that of a sheet)
> and
> CLEAN YOUR MOUSE!
>
> Yes. THAT is why everyone has been telling you to do this for years; and
> now you know why, especially if you have CATS, you need to get about the
> business of just doing it!
>
> As for me, I'm thrilled! Although I'm wondering if maybe the casing
> couldn't do with a good wash. (Tide?)
>
> Angel ;)
.
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