Of Mice and . . . CATS
- From: CURIOUS ANGEL <byte.this@xxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:39:39 -0700
ONCE UPON A TIME . . .
In a land far, far way -- er, shortly after the WHEEL was invented -- I began experiencing squirrely activity with my PS2 mouse. Allow me to introduce it to you:
WINBEST 4D+ Model WWW-11 3-button 2-wheel Picture here: http://www.a4tech.com/en/images/download/WWW-11-small.jpg
My 4D+'s (manufactured by A4 TECH) won't win any beauty contest; indeed, I've had far lovelier mice in the past -- most notably a faux burl-wood Logitech 3 button (still partially viewable at the La Brea Tar Pits). But I digress. So there I was in 2001, walking down the Keyboard/Mouse aisle at Fry's, looking for ~ oh yes, let me pause here:
I can report that Tide performs admirably for cleaning your keyboard keys. Now, in the interest of full disclosure I did add some bleach. Just make sure you're on Full Cycle and using very hot water (this, in addition to the obvious accessory, a lingerie bag). You will have stunningly-clean keys. What you won't be able to do is PUT THE SPACEBAR ON AGAIN if it's a Microsoft Natural Keyboard.
So there I was in 2001 -- walking down the Keyboard/Mouse aisle at Fry's looking for a replacement for the Microsoft Natural Keyboard whose SPACEBAR apparently requires an advanced degree in Engineering + a tool developed and owned exclusively by NASA should you take it off and ever think to put it on again -- when I spied these two 4D+'s and my right hand said: COMFY. WANT. BUY. SMOOTH WHEEL. BUY. even as my eyes said: NO! KEEP MOVING! UP THERE -- THE SHINY LOGITE~. (well, you get the picture)
My hand did not just like this mouse, I can state categorically that it MADE LOVE to this mouse, it felt so comfortable. I was only able to separate them from their throes of ecstasy and return to my other shopping by placing a _second_ 4D+ unit in my shopping cart tsk (there was bitter complaining on the way home) (it was all I could do to keep my hand on the wheel). But I digress.
The years progressed and I became increasingly aware that the design of MICE, if allowed to continue its present design trend, would shortly cross my combined sense aesthetic practicality and squarely arrive in the Land of the Vulgar. I am a writer, if you haven't already guessed; and I am waiting for the day one's mouse has evolved to the point of now not only doing one's typing for them, but composing, as well. There are enough buttons and gewgaws on today's mice I get a headache just contemplating placing my hand on one for fear I'll activate my home security alarm or start my blender.
It proved to be providential that I purchased two of these same ($20) models, because I cannot for the life of me find one model among the current litter that I could tolerate.
I look at some of these mice and am curiously reminded of . . . the U.S.S. Enterprise.
But I digress.
Two years ago I adopted a cat; she had kittens; and (after giving away some) I am now a 3-cat household -- this, after never having had even one pet after some tropical fish I purchased kept coming down with ich. or ick. or (well, you get the picture).
Now, coincidental to the expansion of my family by 3 felines, I began noticing that my beloved 4D+ mouse was acting squirrely. In the interest of expediency, I retired the faulty unit and placed 4D+ No. 2 into action; but . . . well this is strange. 4D+ No. 2 began acting squirrely also -- indeed, worse even that No. 1.
Yesterday I finally had my fill of it, and went online in search of a new mouse. There was not a one I found to my taste, whereupon I remembered that Target sold mice -- and probably the older style mice that I am apparently out-of-style in preferring. I purchased a $13 GE Dual Scroll USB Optical mouse; brought it home; and knew immediately I wouldn't be able to tolerate it. GE (that friendly maker of washing machines and bombs) apparently thinks the surface of the human finger insufficient to push a mouse wheel, and endowed this unit's wheels with TREADS. My tender flesh no more likes the rough pavement of this wheel than my bare feet enjoy walking on cut glass.
There comes a time in the life of a computer owner when they shut their computer down and examine, for the first time, the underbelly of their mouse. Over the years I've encountered innumerable admonishments to clean my mouse but never took it seriously because, well, the ball looked okay to me.
But this was war.
I wanted my mouse back.
I wanted BOTH of my mice back, now that I saw the design trends in mice in just four years had abandoned my simpleton preference for something practical for something fussy.
I turned the bottom circle thingy to get at the ball of my mouse. The ball looked as good as it had ever looked but -- I noticed something that looked like fuzz on one of the parts, and grabbing a tweezer, picked at it.
What I found was two years' worth of baby-fine CAT HAIR clinging to the little gears of my mouse -- held together by the gunk of years of traversing my mouse pad!
The righteous indignation I felt cannot be put into words!
The violation of my person! er, my right hand! I mean.
The terror of subjecting me to a world of mice designers formerly employed by NASCAR!
The INFAMY of depriving me of quite simply the most comfortable mouse I have ever owned!
So friends, the moral of this story is a simple one. Listening class?
Don't go out and buy a new mouse
Don't panic when the models look like something your son might wish for in a Star Trek model kit
Don't reach for that Q-Tip
Get out your Rubbing Alcohol
Get out your tweezers
Get out that tiny Philips screwdriver that fits in your mouse's screw.
Get a piece of NON-LINTY material (hard wove, like that of a sheet)
and
CLEAN YOUR MOUSE!
Yes. THAT is why everyone has been telling you to do this for years; and now you know why, especially if you have CATS, you need to get about the business of just doing it!
As for me, I'm thrilled! Although I'm wondering if maybe the casing couldn't do with a good wash. (Tide?)
Angel ;) .
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