Re: tolerate but not condone


Gord Beaman wrote:
> "Learning Richard" <learningrichard@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> snippo
> >
> >Well... I still don't understand, if we're laying a good foundation
> >thus far (and you'll have to just believe me when I say she's very well
> >behaved) then why introduce corporal punishment?
> >
>
> Hell, no, you can't change in mid-stream like that, IMO at least,
> she wouldn't know what the hell is going on...just as the mother
> bear disciplines her cubs (she can't talk nor reason with them
> any more than you can at that age) she cuffs them some.
>
> They learn to avoid unacceptable behavior from the cuffing. Bears
> have been getting along fine for millions of years...
>
> >Is change a bad thing?
>
> Of course it is!...change is the one thing that children DON'T
> need *I* think, I think one must be 'constant'...children look
> for consistency above all...the poor little darlings are very
> intelligent and can detect the slightest change in your
> consistency, they're quite fearful of the world and if you show
> any instability they snap it up and perceive it as a threat to
> themselves.
>
> That's why they're always 'pushing the envelope', to prove to
> themselves that they're safe. I really believe that. They do it
> all through their growing up years, especially as young
> teenagers. They're really bright little buggers and are just
> realizing how dangerous the world is and push you for freedoms
> that they don't really want as a test to gauge how determined you
> are to protect them.
>
> Now is when you must be hard as nails..."If I catch you in a car
> with 'William' I'll skin you ***, I'll ground you for life or
> longer. I'll confiscate your credit card...your blackberry..."
>
> Which brings up another good point, NEVER threaten what you
> really can't provide. and conversely, ALWAYS provide what you do
> threaten..."I will ground you for a month"...then (upon default)
> DO it...no fail allowed. The child will trust you to do what you
> promise...very important...also, ALWAYS warn them before applying
> punishment, they're great judges of 'what's fair'. At 14 their
> favorite phrase is "It's NOT FAIR!" They love that phrase...
>
> "If you XXX, then I'll YYY"
>
> Sorry to be so longwinded but I feel that we can have no more
> important job in life than raising and teaching our offspring,
> and that we owe it to them to do the very best job that we're
> capable of.
> --

I couldn't have put it better myself. You pretty much covered
everything.

The main reason I'm here is to raise her to be the best person she can
be... outside of these tuition bills for my wife (3 more years -- we're
apparently too rich to get any grants hahaha, and I'm still paying BACK
for mine 10 years later RRRs) she is and will always be my biggest
investment.

And... oh did I tell you about the time we were at the park, and she
picked up a centipede and carried it all day? She got a leaf because
he "needed a blanket"... or just this morning -- she held all her
fingers out, and said "Daddy let me count them." Then she touched her
thumb and said "Wait. Daddy is this a finger?"

She slays me!

.

Loading