Re: tolerate but not condone

"Learning Richard" <learningrichard@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
snippo
>
>Well... I still don't understand, if we're laying a good foundation
>thus far (and you'll have to just believe me when I say she's very well
>behaved) then why introduce corporal punishment?
>

Hell, no, you can't change in mid-stream like that, IMO at least,
she wouldn't know what the hell is going on...just as the mother
bear disciplines her cubs (she can't talk nor reason with them
any more than you can at that age) she cuffs them some.

They learn to avoid unacceptable behavior from the cuffing. Bears
have been getting along fine for millions of years...

>Is change a bad thing?

Of course it is!...change is the one thing that children DON'T
need *I* think, I think one must be 'constant'...children look
for consistency above all...the poor little darlings are very
intelligent and can detect the slightest change in your
consistency, they're quite fearful of the world and if you show
any instability they snap it up and perceive it as a threat to
themselves.

That's why they're always 'pushing the envelope', to prove to
themselves that they're safe. I really believe that. They do it
all through their growing up years, especially as young
teenagers. They're really bright little buggers and are just
realizing how dangerous the world is and push you for freedoms
that they don't really want as a test to gauge how determined you
are to protect them.

Now is when you must be hard as nails..."If I catch you in a car
with 'William' I'll skin you ***, I'll ground you for life or
longer. I'll confiscate your credit card...your blackberry..."

Which brings up another good point, NEVER threaten what you
really can't provide. and conversely, ALWAYS provide what you do
threaten..."I will ground you for a month"...then (upon default)
DO it...no fail allowed. The child will trust you to do what you
promise...very important...also, ALWAYS warn them before applying
punishment, they're great judges of 'what's fair'. At 14 their
favorite phrase is "It's NOT FAIR!" They love that phrase...

"If you XXX, then I'll YYY"

Sorry to be so longwinded but I feel that we can have no more
important job in life than raising and teaching our offspring,
and that we owe it to them to do the very best job that we're
capable of.
--

-Gord.
(use gordon in email)
.

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