Re: OT: Humor - If Dr. Seuss were a technical writer.

Sycho wrote:
This just in to the alt.2600 news room. On Tue, 30 Jun 2009 00:58:11
-0400 it was announced to all in a public briefing, Rev Turd
Frederıcks <turdfred2@xxxxxxxxxxxx> made the following declaration
and shocked the world when the following was announced:

Sycho wrote:
This just in to the alt.2600 news room. On Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:25:50
-0400 it was announced to all in a public briefing, Rev Turd
Frederıcks <turdfred2@xxxxxxxxxxxx> made the following declaration
and shocked the world when the following was announced:

Sycho wrote:
This just in to the alt.2600 news room. On Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:09:13
-0400 it was announced to all in a public briefing, Rev Turd
Frederıcks <turdfred2@xxxxxxxxxxxx> made the following declaration
and shocked the world when the following was announced:

Sycho wrote:
This just in to the alt.2600 news room. On Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:22:24
-0400 it was announced to all in a public briefing, FrozenNorth
<frozennorth123@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> made the following declaration and
shocked the world when the following was announced:

Sycho wrote:
This just in to the alt.2600 news room. On Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:19:46
-0400 it was announced to all in a public briefing, FrozenNorth
<frozennorth123@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> made the following declaration and
shocked the world when the following was announced:

Sycho wrote:
Awww c'mon. You know you want to go on a chase just once to see what
all the "hub-bub" is about. Admit it, you're a closet storm chaser and
you didn't even know it. ;)

I'll even supply the greasy hamburgers from fast food joints. How's
THAT for a deal?

hehehehe
Look up a thread in here I started on June 18th, "Anybody hungry", you will see the way Rev likes his burger.
;-)
With or without fur? ;)
Did Dufas sit on another burger?
;-)
Not unless he went to Micky D's lately. ;)

I swear those burgers look like they either got stepped on or sat on
they're so thin. They're just as thin as their sausage patties.
They are the same, just depends which grease they fry them in.
hahahahahaha!!!! Good point. I hadn't thought about that until you
mentioned it. *burp* Oh, pardon me. That Big Breakfast I had earlier
this morning is rearing it's ugly head. :)
I have to admit, that I love McDonald's. I don't think I have had anything there I didn't like, but I purposefully avoid going there for that reason. I'm trying to lose weight, I've lost almost 20 lbs since arriving in Kentucky (18 lbs 9oz if you have to ask) which is a hard thing to do when you consider that everything here is deep fried and covered in cheese, and beer is cheap. But I don't have a McDonald's nearby so at least part of the temptation is not there.
It's ok once in a while when it's either too hot outside to cook out,
unless you're like me and wait until the sun is just beginning to set.
Or you're just too tired to cook. Unfortunately for me McDonald's is
very close by. Less than 3 minutes, if that. So unless we get Popeye's
Chicken, order chicken wings and pizza for the kids (I get the wings,
they're MINE!!! Kinda makes me feel like I'm Daffy Duck there.
hehehehe), if it's not a home cooked meal or a frozen family sized
dinner, I typically get a goo burger (aka Big Mac). Surprisingly, at
nearly 6 feet tall I only weigh 135 + or - pounds. And that's with 8
to 10 beers a night on a regular basis.
I hate you :-) I'm 5'8" and at last years physical I was 196, but I'm big boned, yeah that's it. So I decided I need to lose some weight, the Dr. didn't even mention it, I was nowhere near being "fat". Now I'm 167. Treadmill every day, no McDonalds, and no second portions. It hasn't been that hard really, having the discipline to go on the treadmill is the only hard thing. The biggest difference I've noticed is in my heart's efficiency. I can now do 50 minutes of second-third level "endurance" without putting my heart rate out of range whereas before I started a serious exercise regimen I could barely last 20 minutes of aerobic without exceeding my heart rate limits. (heart rate range being no more than 80% of maximum heart rate). Now I barely break a sweat. Seeing as I'm pushing 50, I don't want to end up like Billy Mays or at the extreme other end, MJ.

OMG you should see my father-in-law, the Saddam Hussein look-a-like.
That man can put away some food like it's nothing. You talk "second
portions", which I feel is a good thing that you've gotten yourself
into that habit. I commend you highly on your self control. My
father-in-law OTOH.. Holy ***!! I've seen his plate filled with
second, third and fourth portions all at once. And he goes back for
more! wtf?

My dad used to be like that. Although later in life he got a lot better. I was at a party the other night and with the exception of one person, I was the slimmest one there :-)

My wife had issues with that when her and I got together but now
instead of piling food on her plate like her dad does, she eats a lot
better rather than if she's feeding at the trough. Although once she's
done eating, she'll go to chips or cookies or ice cream. The sad part
about the chips is that she'll use chip dip with whatever kind of
chips she's eating. Be it BBQ, sour cream and onion, Pringles or
Doritoes, she HAS to have sour cream and onion dip with it.

Chips are a killer. Although I realize there is more to dieting than calories, the bottom line is if you take more in than you use you gain weight. I have a secret weapon, it's an app for my iPhone called "Lose it" and it's a database of foods with serving sizes and calories/fat/carbs/cholesterol etc. Just like the food labels. You can also enter your own foods and recipes. You enter in the foods you eat in a day and it keeps track of calories in and exercise calories used. You set a goal based on how much weight you want to lose and it charts your progress. Since I literally never have my iphone out of arms reach, I have no excuse not to enter everything in. That's the key right there, I've tried such things with the computer but you always forget what you had.

I keep begging and pleading with her to go on a diet and start
exorcising. Especially now that she's been laid off from work since
March. She must have several different types of equipment that she's
purchased over the years.. Like ankle weights, 2 and 8 pound
dumbbells, one of those cloth vibrating tummy things.. She never uses
them. Plus, I've downloaded about a dozen different exorcise videos
and burned them to DVD for her. She never watches them even though she
asked me to get them for her. I just don't get it. It's sad really. I
want to feel sorry for her but I can't.

I got my wife to use the treadmill and use the iPhone app and she's sticking to it fairly well. She has never been overweight, but we had a stressful move and for the months leading up to it we both kind of put on a few undesireable pounds. You know it when your clothes start not fitting so well, and you find yourself rushing in the door after work and putting on sweat pants :-) That's how it starts anyway.

She swears up and down that while she was working she frequented the
gym or weight room or whatever she called it that her job provided
right there in the building. I just didn't see any weight loss at all.
Now that she's unemployed, all I've seen her do from the time I get up
to get dressed for school and the time I get home from class is sit on
the couch watching her soaps, watching Law & Order or Matlock.

I've even had to go to the extreme to call her a "barrel with a head"
to get her to understand that she needs to take better care of
herself. No matter if I give her positive reinforcement or go the
extreme route that I mentioned, she simply refuses to do anything
about it. So I've given up completely on trying. I might as well be
talking to a wall. She turns 36 on July 8th so she's still young and
has time to do something rather than veg and get fatter. I'm 40 as of
April 6th and even though I don't exorcise like I should, I still find
ways to do something even if it's yard work. BTW she's a whole lot
shorter than I am. About 5' 4".

I've never said a word to my wife, I find they respond better to "I like you just the way you are" type comments. But since I'm the cook and do the shopping in the house, we do things my way, and I started cooking fresh foods and making her lunches with carefully measured portion sizes, having salads or green veggies instead of potatoes etc. That way, if she has a bad day (she's got a fairly stressful job) she has the option to have a few snacks without "tipping the scales".

She recently found out this year that she's diabetic along with having
high blood pressure. I told her that part of the problem is her weight
and that she seriously needs to get that under control before she
really starts experiencing other issues. You would think that after 12
years of marriage she would listen to me and take my advice. Ohhhhh
no.
That's not a good thing. Although those problems are manageable, excessive weight exacerbates them for sure.


So again, I applaud you in your efforts and say to you as a friend,
keep up the good work.

Thanks. I have been working hard at it. Although the iPhone app is a real boost to my efforts. It's also helpful to take it with you to the Dr because you have a log of everything you've eaten for months and the dr can recommend and or tell you you aren't eating enough X so you aren't getting some of the nutrients you should etc. My Dr., much to my wife's chagrin, recommended eating more beans, because of the fiber being very filling and they give a lot of bang (hee hee) for the buck as far as protein, iron and such. She even gave me a few cooking suggestions so I don't get bored of them.
.

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